#just came back from the cinema and type this
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Random things I love about The Marvels:
(Spoilers obviously)
- that one SABER worker thought they had escaped the flerken kittens and got swallowed almost immediately
- Carol’s bed on her spaceship( it looks cozy and lonely at the same time
- Goose acting like a cat in general
- The entire Khan family
- RIP that one couch in the Khan house(it got eaten by Goose
- Everything Kamala wears( props to the costume department
- That Jelly fish hat Carol wears on the musical planet(I don’t remember the name
- Every single Fury and Muneeba (Kamala’s mom) interaction
- Kamala dancing along with the crowd on musical planet
- Monica’s hair clipper on her new suit
- Monica’s co-workers(wish we got to know them more they seem nice
- That one joke about(mostly Monica) keep touching glowing mysterious things
- “Oh captain my captain”
- Kamala and Carol doing finger guns at each other
- Tessa Thompson in a SUIT
- Carol and King Valkyrie hugging
- Every single group hug
- Along the lines of “ I’m not sure we are going up, are there direction in space?” By Yusuf( Kamala’s dad)
- The collective look of Huh? By Kamala and Carol whenever Monica started talking about science
- Carol x Maria shippers we won we got one flashback of them
- A recap of all the characters(when they use the skull memory thingy
- Honestly they should do it more coz I doubt most people are watching every single Marvel TV show/movies( not me tho
- The Ms Marvel art style in the beginning( loved it since the show came out
- Kamala recruiting Kate in style( not sure if it’s more Nick Fury or Yelena Belova tho
- When the soliders on the musical planet fight you can see sound wave coming out of their sword/tuning fork?
- “Higher further faster”
- Dar-been’s spaceship(it looks cool to me
- they have a barrier instead of a door on Dar-Benn and Carol’s spaceship
- Monica calling Kamala baby(or honey?or sweetie? I don’t remember exactly I just found this adorable
- The fire extinguishers on SABER(something tells me this place keeps getting caught on fire or something
- That one slow mo shot of all three of them when they are fighting Dar-Benn
- An actual reason for hand to hand combat( yes I’m talking about Loki
- “…Entanglement”( it’s a funny word with a weird sound and I like it
- Carol running off to herd those kittens( the way her face lit up aww
- Goose chilling on Carol’s shoulder when she flies( can you tell I love cats
#just came back from the cinema and type this#it’s a fun movie and I like it#every time the trio interacts it warms my heart#the marvels#the marvels spoilers#kamala khan#carol danvers#monica rambeau#marvel#random things I love about _
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Ride me? || Miguel O'hara
Pairing: Miguel O'hara (Spider-Man 2099) x F!reader
Tags: Overstimulation, rough sex, choking, squirting, vaginal fingering, big dick Miguel, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it kids), fang kink if you squint.
Words: 1.8k
Summary: Just when you thought he's exhausted enough from chasing Miles Morales and had given you the chance to actually ride him, Miguel has other plans.
This man evokes something so feral in me that I forgot I was suffering through the worst writer's block. He got me giggling and twirling my hair yesterday at the cinema wtf. I used my very limited Mexican Spanish knowledge from watching streamers flirting in a block game for this.
cariño - honey || mi vida - my life || mi amor - my love || guapito - handsome
Miguel isn't the type to let someone control the pace, even if he did, his hands grounded on your waist would soon guide your hips into a rhythm he prefers, hard and fast.
You've been hearing the ruckus down the spider webs, something about another version rebelling against the usual stories of every Spider-Man in the multiverse to save his dad. Knowing that your husband sits at the top as their leader, you expected him to disappear for a long period of time.
Not that you mind of course, he's had plenty of times he charges in to handle an anomaly himself.
You do have to give some kudos to the kid for trying to change reality though. After Miguel's story, nobody in the headquarters, even you, dared to defy the fates laid upon every Spider-Man.
It's been three days since he left and honestly, you didn't expect him to arrive yet. A person deterring from the fates of every Spider-Man would be hard to handle, you couldn't even imagine how difficult it'd be.
So when the doors to your apartment flew open and came to him, practically drooping from exhaustion, you were surprised.
He came earlier than expected.
"How'd the chase go?"
"I don't want to talk about it. Come here."
Drying your hands off on the towel hanging from the wall counter, you made your way to the man laid spread and heaving on the couch. His head tipped back with his usually neatly gelled hair now haggard and messy, he looked up when he sensed your presence and immediately pulled you onto his lap.
You laughed. "Don't fall asleep here, I don't want to carry your heavy ass."
His lips tugged into a weak smile, his pointy canines briefly appearing.
"Spider-Man is supposed to help the weak, are you really ignoring a civilian in need?"
You didn't get what he meant until he pulled your hips closer, dragging your core over the tent on his pants.
You hit his arm. "Go to sleep, you must've been really tired after chasing that kid around."
"Then ride me."
You paused before narrowing your eyes at him. He's baiting you with the very thing you've wanted to do since the beginning. But the dark cloud of lust in his eyes somehow convinced you of his genuineness.
His talons dug onto your flesh, hard enough to take control of your hips to grind on top of his dick sensually while keeping eye contact with yours. You couldn't ignore the pleasure and jolts of heat electrifying and burning your nerve endings alight at every drag of your heat over his.
"I want to feel you baby, I miss you so much."
Miguel pushes you down on his hardness and you moan, the feeling of his girth finding home between your legs shot electric pleasure down your spine.
"You are a convincing man."
"And you love it."
You lunged for a kiss and instantly, one of his hands threaded itself onto the back of your head, locking you in place as your lips danced against each other in a fierce battle. The raw hunger after being starved for a week now surfacing and consuming you both, mind and body.
His other hand guided your hips up and down his clothed dick, his deep groans and growl lit fireworks in you, igniting your determination to coax more of them out of his lips.
"Get rid of the pants or I'll rip it off of you."
"Rip it then."
He didn't need to hear you twice.
In one quick motion, he tore your sweatpants into two before doing the same thing to your panties and throwing them somewhere in the room. He groaned as his head fell onto the crook of your neck, hands crawling up to cup your breasts before your top and bra suffered the same fate as your other clothing.
"The pants, only the pants! I loved that bra!"
"I'll buy you something better, from another universe even." He responded, almost breathless as your scent invaded every speck of his senses. Miguel groaned. "Fuck, I miss this scent of yours baby."
"I don't care, get rid of the suit."
His attire dissolved into thin air and retracted back to god-knows-where, revealing his ruffled shirt and grey sweatpants that did nothing but proclaim his clear desire for you.
"Let me prep you real good, huh?"
Retracting his talons, two of his fingers delved into your heat, immediately drenching itself with your arousal and he groaned.
"So wet for me, mi amor."
"Only for you, guapito."
Two of his digits rolled your clit sensually and with the dexterity of an experienced man, urging more of your arousal to coat his fingers further. Once he was satisfied with the amount of fluid now dripping into his pants, he wandered lower and lower until he plunged his index in, curling it up so deliciously you moaned and grinded your hips onto the slow plunge of his hand.
His eyes watched your heat like a ravenous man holding back, the feral look on his face only pulled you closer to the edge.
And it's only a finger in.
"So tight, mi vida. You treat me so well."
He added two fingers in and you screamed, his pace now rapidly gaining speed. Your eyes rolled back as your hips thrashed and clumsily followed his thrusts, there was nothing else that mattered more than coming for your darling in that moment.
Miguel groaned, watching your face twist into the most sinful display of pleasure he has ever seen. The pride and smugness from knowing it was all because of him made him smile.
Only he could see you in such a state and no one else.
You clenched around his digits, tempting him to finally take the dive. Although his fingers coaxed pleasure out of you with no problem, you missed the feeling of his dick carving your insides, stretching you thin and reminding your cunt who it belongs to.
But Miguel ignored the bait and instead hastened up while curling up to push on your g-spot. You almost blacked out from the euphoria he feeds you, a coil in your stomach tightened and you moaned.
"I'm cl-close… Fuck!"
"Give it to me baby, I want it all."
It didn't last long until the coil exploded and your arousal squirts out of your cunt to drench Miguel's shirt, whose gaze turned a shade darker at the scene when you peered down to meet his gaze.
A tense atmosphere rose from his mere gaze and goosebumps prickled your skin. Your heartbeat jumped through the roofs as you stared back at his dark eyes, he triggered your spidey sense.
And for some sick reason, it only ignited the simmering arousal in the pits of your abdomen.
"Fuck the ride, you're not getting up until I say so, cariño."
You barely sensed him flipping you both, with you now seated and spread on the sofa while he stood in front of you, hastily removing his remaining clothing as if it angered him.
It didn't take long until his hand cautiously wrapped around your neck and his other, pinning your hips as he plunged himself deep into your cunt. You screamed as he pushed more of him, inch by inch. He stretched you out to the point of no return, the burn of his cock carving you open once more made you light-headed.
And he loves nothing more but seeing the cock-drunk look on your face.
Miguel grinned, his fangs protruding so attractively. "God, I love how fucked you look for me, cariño. Give me more."
He pulls and plunged himself back in, shooting hot white pleasure in your body. Miguel didn't wait long before his usual hard and rough pace started. The hand around your throat tightened and your mind turned woozy from the lack of oxygen, his thrust taking your breath away only evoking the feeling of nirvana within you.
He drove in you hard and quick enough you can distantly hear the couch legs wincing as it gets pushed back with every plunge of his dick.
"Fuck…!"
"That's right darling, I'm fucking my sweet cariño open and wide for me."
The electric shocks the head of his cock briefly grazing the head of your uterus sent your legs flailing on his sides. Growing bothered by them, he halts to rest them on his wide shoulders and wraps his arm around your thigh before entering somehow deeper into you.
Your hands found his meaty thigh and dug itself onto it and it encouraged him to go even faster, pushing you closer to the edge and you swore you could see the pearly gates of the heavens.
"I'm co-coming…! Miguel!"
"Give it to me baby, you know how much I love seeing you convulse so helplessly around me."
The hand on your throat left to find purchase on your clit, rubbing you as fast his cock plunges into you.
With a scream, you came.
Your legs trembled violently on his shoulder as more of your arousal spurts out of your heat, white hot pleasure burned and stirred every nerve ending awake as your eyes rolled back.
But this doesn't seem to be enough for Miguel who only took a break to see your thighs convulse before continuing his thrusts.
You hit his thighs as he kickstarted another orgasm now bubbling in the pit of your stomach but he paid no heed.
Not that you minded of course, if anything, it only pleases the sick bastard in your head, wishing to be used and fucked so well by your husband like it's your sole purpose.
"I'm so close, baby. Can you give me another one? Surely you can, right?"
His fingers rubbed your clit to the point of pain yet it somehow enhanced the pleasure growing larger in your chest and you screamed. Miguel bent down to rest his sweaty forehead on your shoulder, in the clouded state you were in, you could make out the sharp points of his canines pushing down your skin.
The threat of his bite shot jolts down to your heavily beaten cunt, once again tightening its coil. The frequent groans and low growls escaping his lips alone told you he's near to climax.
And with that, he's dragging you down with him.
"Please please please, give it to me…!"
"Yes, cariño. Anything, Anything for you."
With a couple of thrust, scorching hot explodes inside of you and Miguel slows down, almost into a halt as he rides down his high. The face of pure unadulterated ecstasy painting his face, along with his fingers, you came with another shout.
When he's calmer, he lets his sweaty body fall into your arms before reaching around to do the same.
As your breathing returns to normal and the fog in your head clears, Miguel places a gentle kiss on your temple and cheeks.
"I love you so much, cariño."
"I love you more, guapito."
#miguel o'hara#miguel o'hara x reader#miguel o'hara smut#miguel o'hara imagine#spider-man: into the spiderverse fics#spider man: across the spider verse fics#spider-man fics#spider-man smut#miguel o'hara x reader one shot#miguel o'hara one shot
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Damian is the type to casually invite you to the batfamily annual movie night.
A night that was strictly for family only but that rule was bended a couple of times when the likes of Roy Harper and Jon Kent were invited to the supposed ‘batfamily only’ movie night; So no one really batted an eye when you walked into the cinema room and made yourself comfortable in the space next to Damian as Titus joined you both.
And Damian knew that his family didn’t mind you joining them for family night.
In fact it was something that was heavily encouraged and Damian took advantage of that.
Damian couldn’t give less of a fuck about socialising with others unless it was necessary or just unavoidable.
He only comes down for family movie night as long as he didn’t have to within close proximity of everyone else. He even once reserved the space next to him for Titus but when you came into the frame, the space once reserved for the Great Dane was now reserved for you whenever you come over for the weekend; He even once dropkicked Dick and Jason on two separate occasions for almost taking your spot.
Whenever you asked anyone why this was, everyone would share a look and feign ignorance and move on, leaving you more confused then you were before.
Jason reserves a section of his book collection just for you called ‘y/n’s recommendations to read later.’
Jason’s main books were works from Jane Austen but with you introducing him to books such as ‘before the coffee gets cold’ by Toshikazu Kawaguchi and A little life by Hanya Yanagihara, Jason had steadily began to grow a small collection of books that you recommended or reminded Jason of you whenever he reads the blurb.
He loves literature and he loves to talk about it with you but loves it even more when it’s regarding a book you’re both reading at the same time. It’s honestly his favourite thing to do in his pass time as not only does it grant his wish to spend more time with you, it also grants him a moment of calm, a moment of peace and quiet.
Something that Gotham sorely lacked.
He acts personally offended when he hears that you were one and a half chapter ahead of him because hey, you’re meant to read it with him! Not read ahead of him! He’ll pout and say you’ve betrayed his trust but he could never truly be angry at you throughly enjoying a book, he finds it unbearably cute and attractive at the same time.
He loves your little book club that you’ve formed and wouldn’t change it for anything as it was something only the two of you shared.
Dick would love rooftop dates.
They’re his favourite type of dates to take you on mainly because so he could pretended to fall off when you playfully shove him for saying some stupid shit, only to come back up per his athletic background.
‘Dick you…Dick!’ You exclaim, smacking his bicep. ‘You scared me!’
‘Sorry sweetie.’ He’d apologise but the smile on his face would remain as he drew you into his arms, making sure to keep you close to his chest as he pressed kisses into your head.
‘Fucking asshole.’ You murmur against his chest, fists clenching at the back of his shirt, reassuring yourself that he was here with you.
‘Yes I am an asshole for making my baby worry about me.’ Dick would say as he rubs your back comfortingly as a way to remind you that he was really here. He did feel like a…well a dick for scaring you but he loves the opportunity where he gets to hold you, yeah he could’ve asked you like a normal person, but Dick wasn’t exactly a normal person but that didn’t stop you from loving him with everything that you had.
‘You’re making it up to me by making my favourite as compensation.’ You said and Dick could only chuckle at your demand and press his lips to your temple. ‘As you wish cutie.’
#damian wayne x y/n#damian wayne x you#damian wayne imagine#damian wayne x reader#damian wayne imagines#damian wayne fluff#jason todd imagine#jason todd fluff#jason todd x reader#jason todd imagines#jason todd x you#jason todd fanfic#jason todd fanfiction#jason todd fic#dick grayson x y/n#dick grayson x you#dick grayson imagine#dick grayson imagines#dick grayson x reader#nightwing x y/n#nightwing x you#nightwing x reader#dc imagine#dc x reader#dc x you#dc x y/n#dc comics x reader#dc fic#dc fanfic#dc fanfiction
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Sorry to bother you, but the bodyguard post you did was just 🤤🥰😍 and I can't stop thinking about it day later
Have you ever seen Oshi no Ko? I'd love to see Bodyguard react to someone trying to do something similar as what happened to Ai.
Fans get wind their beloved idol might have feeling for her staff, so a crazed fan tracks down her private address. He plans to get revenge for "His idol cheating on him" but doesn't know there is a guard dog inside ready to bite any threat to his precious charge.
Sorry to keep ragging on about the topic, I just adore you work enough that it lives in my head rent free.
Happy holidays
-🌟
I sadly haven't seen Oshi no Ko, but your description sounds very interesting. Thank you for the idea! I've combined it with your previous suggestion, I think they work together really well. Happy Holidays to you, too! :)
Yandere!Bodyguard x Idol!Reader (II)
Your new manager has sent you home for the holidays after persistent rumors surrounding you and your bodyguard. And, as luck would have it, the fan responsible for the accusations successfully sneaks his way in. Sadly for him, you’ve never left the watchful gaze of your loyal, mean dog.
[Part 1] [Part 2] [Part 3]
TW: violence, threats, mentions of stalking
(Cover from the manga “A girl and her guard dog”)
"Enjoy your holidays!"
The driver cheerfully bids you goodbye and speeds away, leaving you behind the imposing gate. You drag your luggage inside and nonchalantly toss it with an annoyed huff.
What now? You're all alone in a hollow mansion.
Early December you begun receiving worrying letters from a fan, making wild claims about you and your bodyguard. Naturally, you laughed it off. Your bodyguard found them equally amusing. So much, that he'd ask you to read them out loud as you rode him. "I w-won't stand for it. You know we ha-ave something special going on, (Y/N)-chan." You barely managed to form coherent sentences, feverishly clinging to the large man underneath you. "You heard the guy. Better be on your best behavior", he'd add with a chuckle, wiping the drool from your mouth.
The new manager, however, wasn't as relaxed about it. He couldn't risk tarnishing the reputation of his beloved cash cow, so he suggested you take a break from personal assistants until the rumors tone down. If you remained within your expensively secured house, you wouldn't need any guarding. So, he caringly prescribed a dose of homely isolation for the upcoming holidays.
"Don't be so dramatic", he said, "Jesus spent 40 days in the desert by himself. And he didn't have your indoor cinema or jacuzzi bathtub."
"Yeah, but he had the Devil to tempt him. Where's my bad guy?" You whined as a retort.
You let out another groan and throw yourself on the couch, fiddling with the remote. Kind of them to decorate everything for Christmas, you think as you eye the gigantic kitsch of a tree slapped in the middle of the living room.
Fuck. What an absolute waste of time. All because of one crazy fan. You almost wish he'd show his stupid face so your bodyguard could pummel it to bits and crumbles. You wonder what he's doing by himself. Is he going to be assigned to another idol? Probably not, two weeks is too short of a time for anything. You check your phone.
Suddenly, the screen lights up. A text notification.
"Bored?"
Heh. It's almost as if he can read your mind. You smile to yourself and type your response, stretching onto the sofa. Your little back and forth messaging goes on until you look up and notice the room has gotten darker. Already evening. You can hear your stomach growl, so you get up and drag your feet towards the kitchen, searching for takeaway fliers. If you're going to be under house arrest, the least you can afford is junk food.
Once you place your decadent order, you hop onto the counter and idly dangle your legs in anticipation. Your favorite off-duty guard dog has abruptly told you he needs to go and is now offline. "Something came up". What could possibly require his immediate attention? A mistress? You giggle at the idea. In all your time spent together, you haven't seen him glance at a single woman. If he must, he will engage with other people using one-word replies, visibly uninterested. You never considered him much of a talker, but his behavior with anyone else, in comparison, is downright hostile.
There's a rustling sound and you jolt. Was the food delivered already? It hasn't been that long. You jump off the marble countertop and freeze in place once you see the man standing in the doorway. His face is concealed with a medical mask and he's audibly panting, the hot air fogging up his glasses. You notice the knife in his hand.
"How rude of you to cheat on me so shamelessly, (Y/N) dear."
Huh? Your eyes widen in realization. Was this the crazed fan bombarding you with threatening letters? Your features twist in utter disgust, still transfixed on the weapon within his grip.
This little shit. Not only does he break into your home, but he decides to intimidate you with a department store kitchen utensil. Is that all you're worth? Is that any way to greet one of the top idols in this country?
You angrily pull the nearby drawer open and grab a long, sharp blade. The man tenses up and steps forward, but you stop him in his tracks, throwing the item at his feet. He stares at you, bewildered.
"It's a Yoshihiro Sashimi knife. More than your monthly income, most likely." You state as you leer down at him, grimace plastered on your face. "Pick it up like the animal you are."
He cannot move. Is this his beloved (Y/N)? Her pretty, innocent smile and sparkling eyes have been replaced by this hateful scowl. He feels like a cockroach about to be stepped on, a mere vermin invading her personal space. This can't be right. It's him that should be upset, he's the betrayed party. When has she gotten so...Ah. This must be the work of that bodyguard. He's always known. The way he looks at her, with a predatory glint as if marking his territory. He should've noticed earlier. Poor, sweet (Y/N), at the hands of a brute. Tears form in his eyes and he opens his mouth to speak up, but a burning blow assaults his back and everything goes black.
Your bodyguard casually walks in and lifts the intruder up by the nape of his neck.
"Are you okay? Did he touch you?"
You blush and wipe your eyelashes dramatically, releasing a gentle sob from your puckered lips.
"Touch? He almost killed me! I was so scared...I thought I was done for."
He frowns at your words.
"I'll take care of it."
You can feel the familiar knot forming in your stomach. As he drags the body out of the kitchen, you follow behind enthusiastically.
"Do it in the living room!" You almost squeal.
"Are you sure? It will get messy. I'm not letting this one walk out." He warns you with a worried expression.
"Yes, yes!" you nod, all bubbly. "Right here, next to the Christmas tree."
Once the gory spectacle is over, the bodyguard sprawls onto the sofa, exhausted. He exhales loudly and runs a hand through his hair. You are about to join him, when a thought crosses your mind.
"Now that I think about it, how did you know I was about to be attacked? That was some really extraordinary timing."
Out of reflex, he palms his pocket to check if his phone is still within his possession. Thankfully he hasn't left it in plain sight. You squint suspiciously.
"Are you spying on me or something?"
He remains quiet for a few moments and eventually lowers his head apologetically, avoiding eye contact.
"Forgive me, Miss."
When he glances up again, your small figure is looming over him.
"Wow, what a pervert you are." You push his chin up with your dainty fingers. "How will you make it up to me for such nasty habit~?"
"Is there anything you want me to do?"
"Good boy."
#female reader#yandere#yandere x reader#yandere x darling#yandere x you#yandere bodyguard#yandere imagine#yandere imagines#yandere scenarios#male yandere x reader#yandere original character#yandere oc
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the scaredy cat support group | logan sargeant
summary: much to her dismay, y/n's friends have dragged her to see the scariest film of the season. luckily for her, the blond sitting next to her in a darkened cinema seems to be just as petrified as she is
pairing: logan sargeant x female! reader
warnings: scary movies & scaredy cats, implications of fear and gore, logan being a sweetie.
"this is such a bad idea."
the theater was packed, groups of people passing by them to get into the auditorium, eager to see the latest blood-soaked halloween killfest on screens. y/n, however, just couldn't get her feet to move. her friends stood just in front of her, worried looks on their faces as they looked back at her.
y/n loved halloween, make no mistake. it was her favourite holiday by leaps and bounds. she loved micheal meyers and ghostface and even freddy krueger.
but she absolutely hated being scared. she was a sensitive soul, and that was why she preferred older horror movies that were limited on the level of blood and guts.
"are you sure you don't want to sit this one out? we told you you didn't have to come." her friend said gently.
"no, no. i came here to spend time with you guys because i love you. and no scary movie is going to keep me from doing that."
she was reassured by the group of college guys that came in after her, with an athletic looking blond hanging back to stare at the film poster with a similar queasy look to the one that she was sporting.
"alright, let's get this over with. but if i barf up my popcorn, it's on you guys!"
they filed into the dark theatre, previews already beginning to play out on the big screen in front of them. their group of five took up most of the row, which, being in a small cinema, only held ten seats.
she sat in the middle, next to gloriously empty seat as she tried to steel herself for what was to come, with reminders to herself that it was all made from special effects, and she could walk out of that theater and into the real world whenever she wanted.
"is this seat taken?"
she look up and towards the soft speaker, who was using his phone flashlight to try and find his ticketed seat. it was the same blonde who had stopped to stare at the poster outside, and he looked a little pale in the face as he sat down next to her.
"not a fan of being scared?" she whispered, offering him some popcorn. "me neither."
"oh good. that means i'm not going to be the only one shaking like a baby." he laughed. "god, i would much rather have gone to see fucking joker or something."
"i wasn't given an option. they just told me that this is what was happening and i was invited if i wanted to. i'm y/n."
"logan."
"will you two be quiet?" the man behind them hissed. "some of us are trying to watch a movie.
logan shrugged, typing something on his phone before showing her the screen.
a movie that hasn't even started yet? i didn't realize that the advertisement for jackass was so interesting
"and turn your damn brightness down!"
y/n stifled a laugh as she watched logan pretend to give the guy the middle finger before slipping his phone into the pocket of his hoodie. the lights in the theater dimmed even further, the feature presentation beginning to unfold on screen.
to her credit, she lasted about half an hour before she jumped, knocking over her bag of popcorn and spilling some slippery buttery kernels into Logan’s lap. she was mortified, but the massage logan typed out on his phone reassured her that everything was fine.
it’s all good, squeeze my hand if u get 2 scared
no points for grammar, but five for being a sweetie.
naturally, it was logan who reached for her hand first, during a particularly gory on screen kill that had y/n squeezing her eyes shut and physically turning away from the screen while logan clutched her cold hand in his.
despite herself, she found Logan’s touch to be comforting. what did that say about her that a little scary movie had her seeking out comfort from strangers? (don’t tell her mother that or she would start singing the jamie walters song and everyone would be miserable) for a minute, she almost forgot that she’d come with a group of friends and was only reminded of that fact when one of them messaged her.
getting cozy over there? see, horror flicks are a great place to pick up guys! just make sure his favourite isn’t american psycho.
she giggled, looking over at her friend, who flashed her a thumbs up before turning back to the screen. that scene had long since passed, but logan continued to hold her hand, and she could feel his muscles tense as a scare drew nearer and nearer on the big screen.
she squeezed his hand reassuringly, only to be clutching it in terror moments later, one hand clapped over her mouth to stifle a scream. Logan reached over her body, almost as if he was gallantly and protectively trying to shield her body with his own.
she was going to fall in love with him at this rate if she wasn’t careful.
the movie finished, winding down in a way that much much calmer, if not eerie compared to what they had seen throughout the course of the film. she was relieved to see the end credits roll, although displeased at the idea of leaving logan behind.
she followed her friends out of the cinema, dropping her empty popcorn container in the trash as she went.
"y/n!" a voice called after her.
she paused, turning around to see logan standing just near the door. she glanced back at her friends, smiling when she saw their excited faces, gesturing wildly towards logan.
she walked up to the blonde, hands tucked nervously in the pockets of her flannel coat.
"hey," she started, rocking back and forth on her heels
"hey." logan grinned, scratching at the beck of his neck. "so, i think you're really cute." just out of her range of vision, she could see logan's friends standing behind him, sticking their thumbs up and whistling in encouragement. "and i was wondering if you wanted to go and get a coffee with me?"
she beamed, looking back to her friends for approval, one last time.
"i would love to. after all, you were my protector in there."
logan smiled. "is now okay with you? there's a little place in the plaza just across the way."
"sounds perfect."
#logan sargeant#logan sargeant x reader#the cozy collection 2024#f1 imagine#f1 x reader#formula one x reader#logan sargeant x you#f1 x fanfic#logan sargeant x y/n#logan sargeant fanfic
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cowboy films on gloomy afternoons
you loved everything about working at your local cinema, besides that one employee who just really confused you. he's just as pretentious as you thought but maybe he's also... something else.
WARNINGS: smut!! p-in-v, soft dom! al, one use of slut, office sex, age gap (unspecified, reader is in university). this is really fucking self indulgent
WORD COUNT: 4.7k
written with tbhc alex in mind because tbh he's the only one i can imagine being this level of pretentious tbh
You believed that you truly had the perfect job. For a film student, working as the projectionist at the little independent cinema across the street really was too good to be true. You spent your long hours watching movies—the kind that mattered. Sometimes you’d get stuck with the blockbuster of the week, but you were mostly met with true classics and arthouse features, which not only stuck with you long after watching but actually helped you get ahead in class. Your workspace was cramped and less than ideal, but not even that made you hate the job. You were surrounded by what felt like cinema history in unused rolls of film and posters left over from all 78 years the theater had been open, plus there was a half-decent couch to nap on. And yeah, you got free soda and snacks from it. Perfect.
The company was nice too; if the film ran long and you felt like you needed to stretch your legs, you could walk down to the never-busy lobby and talk to Lucy at the concessions counter (and steal some food) or Dylan at the ticketing stand. Somehow you even got a pretty good boss; Marty was one of the coolest and most experienced people you had ever met. He also wasn’t ever that busy, so he could help you with your homework if you really needed it.
But there’s always that one confusing co-worker, isn’t there? The one that’s either always out for the day or just plain weird. You had Alex. He worked in programming, getting to decide what movies the theater would show regardless of anyone else’s opinions. And goddamn, he was really good at it. Almost every showing you saw was completely sold out (who knew Sheffield had such an audience for auteur films?). But every time you praised his talent, he’d just... shrug it off. He was an enigma wrapped in an encyclopedia of film knowledge.
The problem with Alex is that he was aloof and painfully so. At team meetings, he’d stay in the corner, and you never really saw him out of the office. He also had a habit of being fickle; one day he’d decide he wanted to do an entire week of Tarkovsky films, and the next he’d want to do 1940’s horror films instead. His behavior echoed the type of students that would be dismissed in your class as ‘obnoxiously pretentious’, and god he was, you still remembered the time he went off on poor Marty for suggesting they show a Star Wars movie. But you were still interested in what he had to say; you loved Lucy and Dylan, but they couldn’t hold a conversation about a movie. Alex could, you assumed, if he was able to hold a conversation at all.
The first time you ever talked to him in private was when you went to ask about the copy of the film that was being shown. You had heard there was both a director's cut and a theatrical cut, so you wanted to make sure which you were playing. He answered your question with one sentence; “Director’s. Why the hell would I pick the theatrical edition?” And then went back to his work. It was a while before you talked to him again.
The next time you talked to him was for the same reasons, he seemed a little deep in his work when you came down to his office but you had 20 minutes before credits hit and your boss needed you to do this now. It was something about a high paying donor having a desperate question, whatever.
This exchange was almost the same, except this time he insisted that it was the theatrical cut and that the director’s cut was cash-grab bullshit. Ever the confusing man. You started on your way out when he called at you.
“Hey, what’s your favorite movie?”
It was an unexpected question, he never asked you anything let alone a personal question. It must be a trap, he wanted to hear your favorite movie and then would make fun of you for it. And it’s not that you had bad taste or anything, you're just sure he could find a way to tease you for literally anything you said.
“C’mon, I don’t have all day.” He says, an almost bored expression on his face.
You hesitated in choosing your words, anxious not to provoke the irritation you had seen in men like Alex, even though you knew he was likely to remain impassive. And even though you hadn’t seen him lose his temper, his distant demeanor made you uneasy, as if any slight could provoke a reaction. You had no reason to be scared but you couldn’t shake the feeling of unease in your bones.
Alex on the other hand finally turned to face you fully. He had been observing you for a while, you were always around and so was he, and he noted that you also seemed genuinely interested in the films and not just your paycheck. He also found himself begrudgingly noticing that you always wore the same type of skirt, ending right above your knees. He thought that if you were a character in a film it’d be one of your defining traits.
“Mulholland Drive.” You coughed up after a second of thinking. It was an answer that was both honest and, perhaps, intended to impress him. You didn’t want to dwell on whether that was your true intention or not though, you had other things to do.
Alex felt a flicker of satisfaction at your choice. He anticipated a more predictable answer, so Mulholland Drive was certainly a more compelling choice. In his mind, it confirmed that his suspicions were true; you were a different type of girl than any other employee he had seen in his 10 years of working at this theater. Maybe he really was pretentious, but he felt like if anyone was to work with him it should be people like you. He gave you a satisfied nod and a hum of approval, returning to the emails at his desk. He found you just as mysterious as he found you, he wanted to tear down the layers you had shown to everyone else.
Taking that as your sign to leave, you made sure to stop at the concessions stand for a bag of popcorn before going back up to the projectionists booth.
Two weeks later was when things started to change.
Alex had started to smile more, but you decided that was just because it was warm outside again. He had an interesting smile, it was warm and took up his entire face. It wasn’t the smile you’d expect him to have, you expected him to have a sneer if he was even capable of smiling.
You always liked to look at the schedule of films for the next week when they dropped on Thursday afternoons, you’d compare it to your classes’ syllabus to see if there was anything you could watch to get ahead. It seemed like Alex had decided on cowboy films for the next week, he’d done Sergio Leone before but this was just… a lot of 1960’s cowboy movies you had never even heard of. Nothing that would be helpful at all for you.
In between ‘Navajo Joe’ and ‘Billy the Kid Versus Dracula’ (god, where did he even discover these things), your eyebrows shot up. In the midst of all these damn horse operas he had snuck in… Mulholland Drive.
To say there were a million thoughts going through your head would be an understatement. A small, selfish part of you wanted him to have included the film because he had a soft spot for you, maybe this was his way of saying he saw how much you liked movies too. The logical part of your brain told you that there was some other reason, maybe an anniversary or something.
Checking the remaining time on Sabrina (Alex was on an Audrey Hepburn kick this week), you saw you had an hour left. That was plenty of time to wander the lobby and see if you could catch Alex. You slipped your phone into your pocket and climbed down the ladder from the projectionist’s booth to the lobby, praying to every god possible that Alex is somewhere to be found.
Lucy called out to you the second she saw you, beckoning you over with popcorn. You sighed and walked over, smiling at her.
“Hey look, I can’t talk for too long… have you seen Alex? Urgent question from someone at the screening.” It’s an utter lie, your mother would’ve reprimanded you for how filthy it was. But you needed to talk to him.
Lucy thought for a second, tapping her chin with her finger before she remembered. “He’s in his office, he’s always in his office, remember?” She said like it’s the most obvious thing ever. You nodded and gave a thumbs up, taking a handful of popcorn in your mouth before standing up again.
And that’s how you ended up in his office again, although you were shyer this time. If it was actually a question from a patron you’d ask it so easily, but this time it was your own. He’d have to give you an insight into his mind, you weren’t sure if he had ever done that before.
Your foot tapped lightly as you knocked on the door to his office, you heard him shuffle some papers around and groan.
“Come in.”
You have to take a deep breath before you open the door, there’s no reason this stupid movie should be making you feel this nervous but god…
“You’re gonna make me watch shitty westerns for an entire week, Turner?” You say with a small smirk, you embarrassingly had thought of your words all day. You didn’t want to just come in and ask him about why he picked your favorite film.
His eyes darted over to you the second you walked in, slowly taking you in. You had on the same skirt as last time. “I was watching one at home last night and was reminded of how brilliant the genre was. What, you don’t like a good shoot-em-up?” He asks you with raised eyebrows, leaning back slightly in his desk chair. Of course he liked westerns.
“Not my thing at all.” You replied, taking a small step closer to him. His hair was messier today than it usually was, his beard had gotten longer. He looked like he hadn’t slept in a bit, although he never looked like he got a lot of sleep. “Is it yours? Is your favorite film a western?”
He took note of how you were asking his favorite, the same way he asked yours. Smart girl. He smirked and shook his head, “Nah. My favorite film is ‘Le Samouraï’, you seen it?” Alex wouldn’t judge if you hadn’t seen it, but if you have it just might make you his favorite person on the planet.
You have to rack your brain on what you’ve heard of this film before, maybe it’s been mentioned in class before, you haven’t seen it. “No. Is that a sin?” You asked, leaning against a file cabinet in his office. His office was definitely bigger than the projection booth, he had made it very Alex.
Alex scoffed and shook his head, “I’m sad you haven’t seen it because it’s so brilliant but not mad. They haven’t taught you Melville in that expensive film school yet? You’re getting ripped off, sweetheart.” He matched your comfortable stance by leaning further back into his desk chair and crossing his legs. He had noticed that you aren’t scared of him, not even intimidated by his knowledge. He liked that, he liked talking to you.
“I’ve heard the name, we just haven’t watched it yet.” You respond, looking for the next thing to say to bring you to your point. “But I guess you’ve seen my favorite film, right? I saw you included Mulholland Drive in the lineup, was that a coincidence or are you being deliberate?”
Alex laughed at your words, of course you picked up on that. You really were too smart for your own good. “Well I suppose it’s a bit of both. I wanted something different in case not every regular audience member was on board with my westerns-’ he paused to roll his eyes, as if that thought disgusted him, “but yes. I figured it might be a pleasant surprise for someone with a discerning taste.” His eyes met yours and he smiled again, mostly because he saw a smile creeping on your face. He wanted to keep you smiling.
There was something about him admitting that it’s for you that made you feel… something. You didn’t quite know what. Maybe excited? You were excited and felt validated that he found your taste in film good enough to put on a lineup. You liked that he was perceiving you. “You’re saying you picked it for me? And here I thought you were just gonna be cryptic... What's your angle here?” You asked him; the smile was still on your face, but now your eyebrows were raised.
“Ah.” Alex uncrossed his legs, finally standing up. He got a little closer to you; he wanted to make stronger eye contact with you. “A great teacher back when I was in film school told me that it’s not just about what you watch; it’s about connecting. Maybe it’s all worth it if I can connect with someone who also appreciates the genius of Mulholland Drive.” Pretentious bastard; even his flirting was fucking pretentious. You would’ve made fun of him if you weren’t fighting back a blush.
You took another second to decide your words; it wasn’t often you were speechless, but you were now. "Well, I didn’t expect you to remember, let alone care enough to do that. Maybe there’s more to you than I thought... but don’t get any ideas about being my hero because you saved me from a complete week of westerns.” You had to throw an quip in there; without it, you thought your words felt too… vulnerable. You weren’t sure you were there with Alex yet.
He had to admit that you were funny, even if it was obvious what you were trying to say. He let out a laugh and shook his head. “I’m not trying to be your hero, sweetheart. I just figured that someone who loves the film as much as you deserves to see it on the big screen. Even if it’s from your tiny projection booth.”
His words, once again, leave you stunned. That was really sweet—maybe the top 5 sweetest things anyone had ever done for you. It was almost impossible not to blush and grin at him, and your body betrayed you by making you step forward. “Yeah? That’s… nice. But if you’re not trying to impress me, what’s your real game here? Or do you just have a thing for making people feel special?” You asked him; your smile was somewhere between teasing him and being genuinely flattered.
“You are special.” He responded, also taking a step forward. You started to feel his breath on your face; somehow just this one conversation had made you go from being terrified of him and thinking he’s so pretentious to wanting him.
As if he could read your mind, he reached forward and placed his hand on your hip, giving it a small squeeze. “Maybe I just enjoy challenging expectations; I can’t always be the mysterious bastard in the office. And like I said, you’re special.” His voice lowered, and his face got impossibly closer to yours.
Against all odds of being at work, and that just a week ago you thought he was the most confusing man on the planet, you needed to fucking kiss him. And you did; you took a half step forward and smashed your lips against his. He kept his hand on your hip, squeezing the soft skin as he pushed your back against the filing cabinets. You guessed that he wanted you as bad as you wanted him because he was practically sucking your face; you thought that was just a saying. It was an absolute mess of tongue on tongue and teeth on teeth; your noses even collided a few times as his beard scratched your face. It was uncomfortable in the best way; it was damn hot.
You moaned the very first second you felt his hand grope at your ass and his mouth slip from your lips to your neck. “So fucking pretty, so good,” he muttered before he started to attack your neck. It was an added sensation to have his beard pressing against you alongside his mouth (and teeth; he almost teethed at you). He definitely would leave more marks than just hickeys, but you were so in pleasure you didn’t even have time to think of work.
Oh fuck, work. You cursed silently to yourself and looked up at the clock, just as his hand started to snake under your blouse and over your bra, giving your tit a nice squeeze. “Fuck!” you called out, not just from the intense pleasure but from the fact that you only had another 30 minutes left before you told yourself you needed to be back in the booth. In an ideal world, you’d have an entire night with him.
He continued his mouth’s attack on your neck and hand’s attack on your breasts, feeling his pants start to become tighter; he could only imagine how wet you were. His fantasies were interrupted by you pulling him away and sighing, trying to catch your breath. “Alex… Alex I don’t have much time before I need to go. Do you want-”
He interrupted you this time with his hand coming up to squeeze your lips together, promptly making you shut up. “You got enough time for me to fuck you? Because I’m going to fuck you,” he said as if he'd already decided, and then he started to work with the hand not on your face to unbuckle his belt.
You weren’t able to really form words, so you just whined and nodded, giving him that permission he wanted. He took it quickly, flipping you over and bending you over his desk, your tiny skirt riding up so he could get a view of your pants. You were soaked; he knew you would be. His large thumb started to trace your folds before he made a ‘tsk’ noise and flipped you over again. He wanted to see your face, he decided. Alex Turner was nothing if not confusing.
“This wet only from a little kissing, god, sweetheart, I didn’t know I was dealing with a slut. Although I could’ve guessed from these tiny skirts you keep wearing.” His voice is cool and calm, a complete contradiction from how sinful his words were. You whined at them.
“Alex please. We don’t have much time; please just fuck me!” You cried out, hastily pulling your skirt down so he had easier access. Alex nodded and began to work faster on pulling his pants down. He was so goddamn aroused watching you act like this; you were such a gorgeous girl, and now he had you completely under his control. You moaned loudly, and he grunted, bringing his hand up over your mouth.
“Sweetheart, I’d love to hear all those pretty little noises, but not now. I’m not getting fired because you had to talk all sweet to me and get bent over.” It was an unholy whisper into your ears, causing your skin to shiver. You nodded, and he took that as a sign to slip your panties down. “Knew you’d have a pretty cunt.”
If it was even possible, his words caused you to get even wetter. You could’ve guessed that he was big from the hardness in his jeans, but by the time he slipped his pants and boxers off, you were left gasping against his hand. There was an underlying fear—how the hell was that supposed to fit inside of you?—but also a great arousal because THAT was supposed to be inside of you. Alex tilted his head down to look at your pussy before he smirked, adjusting himself so he could get closer to your entrance.
Your cunt started to clench around nothing, getting excited just at the sheer closeness of his cock. He looked at your entrance again before he spat on his hand and started to rub it along his length as extra lubrication. “I don’t want to hurt you, babygirl,” he whispered before gently forcing the head into your heat, causing you to scream against his hand.
He shushed you again as he kept pushing himself further in; all of your tiny moans and whines were hidden by his hand, but that was for the best; he’d hear them eventually. You were so tight, so warm, and in that very moment Alex decided he was never going to fuck another girl in his life.
When he bottomed out, you gave in and bit at his hand; it was the only way you could keep an actual scream from coming out. You felt so full, you could even feel him throbbing in your cunt (or maybe that was your walls clenching; it could be both). He smirked and started to move, setting a pace that was relentless. He’d prefer to take you apart slower, but you didn’t exactly have the time for that.
His cock was hit every spot in you that made you mewl and arch your back; it was like he knew things about your body that you didn’t. His eyes were focused like you were one of those damn emails he was always writing; it was hot to you that he was that focused on your pleasure. Gentle grunts started to fall out of his mouth as the hand not on your mouth came up to twist at your nipples. The pleasure was starting to become unbearable, and you weren’t sure how much longer you had until you started crying.
You knew you were close when a particularly hard thrust caused your eyes to roll so far back in your head it hurt, so you brought your thumb down to your clit. You needed to cum, and you didn’t care what you had to do to achieve that.
Alex cared though; he wanted to be the one to make you cum. He took his hand off of your nipple and smacked yours off your clit, causing you to whine at the loss of sensation. “None of that. If you needed that, you could’ve just asked,” he grunted, bringing his thumb down to your sensitive bud. It was a funny thing for him to say, as you couldn’t exactly speak, but you still bucked up at his manipulation.
His pace started to become sloppy; you knew he was close too. His breath was also starting to become staggered, and you could almost see a tremble in his legs. You’d never seen him this undone, and it was so damn arousing that you caused it. Alex had already memorized all the spots that made you shake and whine; he knew you were close, so he made sure to hit them all on his thrusts. He knew he didn’t have much time left, and he wanted to make sure you didn’t leave unsatisfied.
It was a particular stroke where he somehow managed to hit your g-spot and pinch your clit at the same time that had you over the top. You felt your legs start to shake and your back arched. You were sure the noises coming from your mouth were starting to get louder than his hand-cranked control, but you didn’t care. You didn’t even care when your hand spilled the pencil cup on his desk all over the floor. All you cared about was that you were cumming and he was making you cum.
Alex grinned at the sight of you becoming this undone because of him. That was what sent him over the edge—the idea that it was his work that just made you coat his member in juices. He pushed until the last second, until his cock was actually twitching, and then he pulled out. The loss of contact was hardly noticed, and he came all over his office floor just by seeing how fucked out you were. You still hadn’t caught your breath, but you were watching him with awe. His dick was really damn nice, and now it was leaking so much cum onto the floor.
He collapsed onto his desk chair and reached for a tissue from his desk. He wiped off his cock before tucking it back into his boxers and then wiped off your pussy, cleaning up the table too. He threw the tissue away and made a mental note to take his own office trash out later.
Once you had caught your breath enough, you stood up, legs still wobbly, and put your pants back on. It took a second, but eventually you had them and your skirt on. Alex just smirked at you.
“That was... good,” you said with a small smile. You were starting to get shy being around him; you just fucked him, and now you had to go back to work.
“It was. You’re uh, you’re perfect. I meant it when I said you’re special.” His smirk turns into a genuinely warm smile, and he brings his thumb up to trace your chin. There was a faint mark on your mouth from him keeping you quiet. You looked down at his cum on the floor, raising your eyebrows in a silent offer to clean it up. He just shook his head; he’d deal with that.
You nodded and sighed, “I should probably get back to work... I don’t look like I just had sex, do I?” Your hair was slightly messy and your shirt was wrinkled, but it also always was. “No one will notice sweetheart,” he replied with a bit of a laugh. He was glad this was your secret.
"Right, uh, thank you, Alex?” It comes out as a question; you’re not sure if you should thank your co-worker for making you cum like that. He shook his head and stood up. “No, thank you for being such a damn good fuck and a special girl.”
You smiled at this; his words gave you a slight hope that maybe this would happen again. You opened his door when he called out to you.
“Sweetheart, I was thinking that maybe I could come up with you and watch Mulholland Drive next week.” It was an optimistic idea; he was worried that you only wanted to fuck. But you grinned and nodded, “I’d really love that; we even have a couch up there.”
He chuckled and stepped closer to you, placing his hand on your chin again. “A couch, fancy!” He joked before he pressed a singular peck on your lips; he wanted you to know that you meant something more than a fuck in the only way he knew how. He wasn’t exactly the best with words. You laughed back at him.
“Alright then, it’s a date.” You grinned at him before leaving his office; you would’ve stayed longer, but time really was running out. You were so lucky that Lucy seemed to be on a bathroom break; you didn’t have to deal with her asking why you were in Alex’s office for so long.
When you got settled back in the projection booth and the credits began to roll, you took a minute to think about what the fuck had just happened, and when you opened your phone, the list of his stupid fucking westerns was still on it. But that was Alex, and maybe you liked that about him.
A/N: yeah like i said... self indulgent (i used to work at a cinema lol). but i'm already obsessed with this version of alex ahh.
#andbreakmynose#alex turner fanfic#alex turner fic#alex turner smut#alex turner x fem!reader#alex turner x reader#alex turner x you#fanfic#alex turner#arctic monkeys smut
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𝐢 𝐰𝐢𝐬𝐡 𝐢 𝐤𝐧𝐞𝐰
matt sturniolo x reader (fluff)
summary: reader is secretly messaging someone, and matt gets jealous
warnings/notes: mentions of jealousy, happy ending
requested?: yes! number 17 ���accidental confession” and number 24 “A not realizing they’re jealous” from my actions prompt list @markiplierbaby
also requested by others ↴
- boy bsf matt getting jealous over someone reader is talking to so he starts to act all possessive and touchy
> > >
You had known Matt for years now. He was your best friend and confidant, always offering his support whenever you needed it. Matt never judged you or questioned your life choices (unless, of course, they were bad choices… in which case he would tell you to get a grip).
All in all, you two were always together. Either he would come over with Nick and Chris or you would visit them for a full-day sleepover. Most days you would do something fun but there was obviously the occasional staying in and doing nothing.
This leads us to where you were currently. Sat on the couch, with your phone in hand as you giggled at a text notification that popped up.
Matt, ever curious, tilted his head to you, dropping his own mobile onto his lap. He eyed your body language, noticing the lingering grin on your face as you typed away.
“What’s funny?” he asked, an unusual feeling bubbling in his chest.
Turning your head to him briefly, you opened and closed your mouth, unsure of what to say. For some reason you were hesitant to tell him of the person you had been texting these past few days. Why were you so nervous? It’s not like he would care, right?
“Oh, just a friend… said something funny,” you finished, your heart thumping faster than you would care to admit.
Matt’s demeanor fell slightly. His shoulders slumped against the couch defeatedly. Once he noticed your lack of attention towards him, he resumed his trek through TikTok.
He couldn’t understand why his blood boiled every time you let out a snort, or a laugh. Your beautiful smile that graced your face every time a new message came through - why did that make him feel sick with worry? Matt couldn’t help but look up at you every now and again, his stomach twisting into knots more and more each time he did so.
What could be so funny? It’s not like he hasn’t made you laugh like that before, so why was it so bad when this other person was doing it?
Hating that he was being a pouty and complaining to himself, he decided to get himself up off the couch. He looked back to you before speaking.
“Do you wanna do something today? Like, instead of sitting and doing… whatever it is you’re doing,” he added the last part a bit passive aggressively.
He didn’t mean to be mad. He just couldn’t help it. What was so private that you couldn’t disclose it to him? And why did he care so much? Matt knew he was being silly, but he couldn’t shake the feeling of dread every time he saw your eyes light up at your screen. Maybe a nice day out with you would help get his mind off of it.
You pondered for a few minutes before nodding. “Yeah, sure. What did you have in mind?”
- - -
The drive to the cinema was short. Matt said he wanted to watch a new movie that had come out, insisting that he buy the tickets online before you got there. He had a habit of always paying for you - and you wouldn’t have minded if he at least let you do the same from time to time. But he never did.
“So… who’s got you all giggly today?” he asked. It was slightly out of curiosity, but mostly out of discomfort of not knowing who it was.
“Oh! It was a friend of Madi’s. I met them a couple days ago when I went to her house.”
You said it matter-of-factly. How were you to know that Matt had ulterior motives asking this? How were you to know that as soon as you got out of the car, Matt would shoot Madi a text to ask who the friend was?
Matt held the door open for you as you reached the entrance to the theater. He showed the usher your tickets before making his way with you to the screen.
You realized you needed to pee before going in. There was still 20 minutes left, so you decided you’d go now before it was too late. “Hey,” you called to Matt.
He stopped to look at you, his eyebrows arching. It was as if he was waiting for you to say something. Something in particular, to which his shoulders dropped when you didn’t.
“I’m gonna go to the bathroom real quick.”
“Okay, yeah.”
As you walked to the bathroom, the last thing Matt was expecting was for you to return with someone else, your laugh echoing throughout the building.
Your head leaned into the person next to you, your smile as big as ever.
Running up to Matt, you stood beside him to introduce the newbie. “Matt! This is who I was telling you about,” you said, your grin growing as he shook hands with them.
“Ah,” he said, forcing a smile. He felt bad, but he really did not want to meet this person. This person that seemed to steal your heart and - why did he care?
Matt instinctively moved closer to you, his shoulder resting against yours. He was seeking comfort - reassurance. But he didn’t know why. You were his friend, he should be happy for you.
The conversation that buzzed through the air seemed to go in one ear and out the other. His responses were automated, nothing besides a “yeah”, “oh cool” or strained laughter could be heard from him.
At some point, it felt as if something possessed him, and he involuntarily wrapped his arm around your shoulder. It wasn’t a shock to you, really. He was occasionally touchy with you - I mean you guys were as close as could be. Yet you had noticed how weird he was acting, so you knew this sudden affection wasn’t coming from a friendly perspective. You knew he wasn’t feeling well.
“Sorry to cut this short but we really do have a movie to see. It was nice meeting you,” Matt said curtly.
It wasn’t a lie. The movie did start in 10 minutes. But really, he just wanted to have you to himself right now.
Matt moved to grab your hand now, pulling you away and towards the double doors. Your friend had already left, so you decided you’d question Matt before entering.
Planting your feet on the ground, you interlocked your fingers to his, bringing him back. “Matt,” you sing-songed.
“Matt,” you said again, more stern this time. He fell backwards, hesitantly facing you now. There was an almost embarrassed look on his face.
“Something’s up with you,” you pointed out.
“Really?” he responded, his eyes landing on your interlocked fingers.
You sighed, taking a step closer. “Matt,” you said for the third time. Each time you said his name, it sounded like honey dripping from your tongue. It made his heart race. His palms were sweating, the hairs on the back of his neck stood up.
“Yeah. You’re right, I’m sorry,” he mumbled. “I don’t really know.”
He sounded exasperated, his sighs were deep, and his eyes looked confused. Confused on what he was really even feeling.
“I just think that maybe I don’t really like your friend,” he said quickly, worried that he’d upset you.
You cocked your head to the side. “How come?”
“They’re not that funny,” he said, pouting. “And they were texting you too much. I could barely even have a conversation with you this morning.”
You almost got whiplash with how fast you jerked your head backwards. To say you were confused would be an understatement. “They were… texting me too much?” you asked in disbelief.
Matt’s cheeks burned under your intense gaze. “Matt, I don’t understand.”
He shook his head, groaning. He let go of your hand to rub his face in frustration. “Me neither! But every time you smiled at them I got so annoyed and - and I think maybe I just don’t like your new friend.”
Suddenly, a wave of laughter washed over you. Matthew Sturniolo was jealous. And he was none the wiser. Taking deep breaths in between your giggles, you wiped a few stray tears away. Matt looked at you like a lost puppy, his eyes following your every movement.
“What?” he asked, his fingers messing with the rings on his hands.
“It’s not funny!” but the smile on his face said otherwise. He couldn’t help it, seeing you happy always made him happy. “C’mon, what are you laughing at?”
You held onto his shoulder for support. “You are so clueless.”
His eyes widened at your statement. Suddenly his cheeks flushed again and he opened his mouth to say something, but ultimately decided not to. What was he clueless about?
Shaking your head at how oblivious he was, you finally just told him. “Matt, you’re jealous.”
“I- what?”
You smiled at him, pecking his cheek in the process. “Well there’s nothing to be jealous of. They really are just a friend.”
His skin buzzed at the contact of your lips on his skin. He wished that you did it more often.
Matt blinked at you a few times. Could it be? He knew he found you beautiful, and funny. He knew that sometimes he imagined cuddling with you on a stormy night - but he never thought too deep into it.
Jesus, you were right. He was clueless. And it took him this long to realize that he liked you.
He felt like an idiot.
“Let’s go, Matty. We really do have a movie to see,” you mocked the last part. Grabbing his hand in yours once more, you lead him to the movie screen.
You looked back at him briefly, your thumb rubbing the back of his hand.
“Maybe after this we can go get dinner?”
Turning your back to him, you kept walking, missing the dopey smile on his face as he stared at your hands yet again. It must’ve been the millionth time that he blushed today, his face feeling like it was in a constant state of unnaturally heating up.
He wishes he knew he liked you before. Then maybe this date could’ve come faster.
- - - - -
𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭:
@lollibumblebee
@dwntwn-strnlo
@st4rgzer
@20nugs
@thetriplets3
@sunshinewwx
@gwenlore
@gabbylovesreading
@ssturniolo
@opheliaofficial07
@stargirlv0id
@mxqdii
@slaysturniolo
#sturniolo triplets#chris sturniolo#matt sturniolo#nick sturniolo#christopher sturniolo#matthew sturniolo#nicolas sturniolo#matt sturniolo imagine#sturniolo triplets x reader#matt sturniolo x reader#matthew sturniolo x reader#the sturniolo triplets#the sturniolos#stvrni0lo
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The Grump & The Drunk | Miguel O'Hara
》 PAIRING: miguel o'hara x spider-woman!reader
》 TROPE/GENRE: grumpy x (drunk) sunshine, fluff, humor
》 SUMMARY: You were clingy, feisty with no filter when you're drunk. Miguel had front row seat of it—literally. You're lucky he didn't mind. In fact, he was glad it was him and not anyone else. The thought made him seethe in jealousy even though you technically were not his girl. But he wasn't sure if that still rang true after tonight's drunken confession (or that make-out session).
》 WARNINGS: alcohol consumption, soft!miguel (also emotionally constipated!miguel but what's new), r calls him miggy to tease him, height difference (he's 6'9" he's an effin giant), r thirsts over him in front of his face lol, some innuendos, brief argument about feelings, overall very cute and fluffy.
》 WORD COUNT: 6.1k+
A/N: can anyone guess what movie i watched recently. is anyone surprised that i liked the grump with a side of trauma lmao. ANYWAY. this is the first time i'm writing miguel so pls be nice. wrote this fairly quickly too and it's barely proofread sooo. but i hope you still enjoy it!
📍 BLOG NAVIGATION ✩ MAIN MASTERLIST ✩
⊱ ─────.⋅♚ *。・゚.★. *。・゚✫*.
It was late.
Quiet.
Well, for now, at least.
Moments like these were rare to come by, where there wasn't much to do except to let things happen. The multiverse was stable enough not to need any intervention.
It usually was the epitome of the calm before the storm.
Nevertheless, everyone—well, those left at HQ and weren't on stakeout—in the Spider Society took advantage of it.
There was always some sort of activity going on during these types of days. Most of it were small get-togethers in the cafeteria, or perhaps a low-key karaoke in the cinema room. Other times it was much more on the nose.
Right now, there was a party held on the rooftop.
The music was blaring—muffled for him, thanks to his soundproofing—as it jumped from genre to genre depending on who successfully bribed the DJ.
It was rowdy—that he was sure of. What, with the modified alcohol strong enough to affect any Spider-Person as if they weren't enhanced, how could it not be?
Miguel wasn't one for festivities. Not to mention, strobe lights always gave him bad migraines. So after showing face for about ten minutes—he wouldn't have shown up at all but was begged to go by someone he couldn't say no to—he decided to call it a night.
Well, back to his…Spider-Cave.
He was sure there would be copyright issues if that was made official.
But it was dubbed by you so it simply stuck.
You, with bright eyes and a sweet smile as you pleaded for him to come with you to the rooftop even if it was "just a couple minutes, please?"
You, who wore a simple yet gorgeous black dress as you all but dragged him into the elevator, bouncing with excitement because it was going to be your first party here at HQ.
You, who enthusiastically sipped on your Pink Señorita—a margarita with pink lemonade—giddy to feel the buzz of the alcohol after years of being unable to.
You, who was so joyful and uncaring as you danced to your heart's content when your favorite song came on, right in the middle of the floor, shining as bright as the sun as the others revolved around you.
Miguel only watched from the sidelines, his chest aching with longing. So close but out of reach because he couldn't.
He'd only put a damper on your light.
It wasn't a matter of if, it was a matter of when.
He couldn't do that to you.
Soft spot.
Miguel had very few of those.
Anyone who dared to give their opinion on his life with the bravery to say it right to his face said one was occupied by you.
Some would even imply that you held the biggest one.
And sure, the first time Lyla scouted you and suggested for you to be recruited into the Spider Society he might've said yes far too quickly than he should've. But that was only because he saw the way you took down a sector of the Maggia all on your own. He was thoroughly impressed.
There were also times when he let you get away with annoying him scot-free. Whether that was teasing, various nicknames, talking his ear out for hours as you refused to leave him alone to do work, and sometimes even pranks. If it were any other person doing the same things you would've done, they would be leaving the premises at least fearing their life.
He also let you spend time around his magic carpet—as you so unoriginally named it. You were constantly testing those copyright issues—quite often to the point that some of your stuff had migrated the space. There were little trinkets scattered around, evidence that you'd been here.
Miguel finally bought a desk chair perfectly suited for his big and tall stature all because you complained about not having anywhere to sit while you were up here with him.
It was more your chair than it was his, to be honest, since you definitely sat on it far more than he had.
Sure, he could've bought an extra one for you but he didn't want to encourage the teasing—that had been nonstop since you waltzed into his life—that he was playing favorites.
He preferred to stand while he worked, anyway.
Fine.
He could kinda see why many people would say he had a soft spot for you.
Speaking of…
Miguel could hear you before he could even see you.
You were giggling to yourself, followed by poor attempts at whispered apologies when you knocked over something or bumped against something else.
It made him worry a little.
Sure, you were too enthusiastic for his liking, all optimism and sunshine despite everything that you had gone through—it harshly contrasted with his personality.
But he wouldn't particularly classify you as clumsy.
He waited for you to call for him, anticipating which way you'd say it this time around. Your most recent one was: "O'Hara, O'Hara, let down your floating chair."
You thought you were really funny with that one.
But silence.
No cheeky way of asking him to let you come up.
Where'd you go?
Suddenly, he heard a very annoyed and frustrated groan, prolonged and all dramatic.
Then, that familiar thwip rang in the air.
You couldn't have been more impatient.
He was aware of exactly where you were, shooting your webs in random directions so long as you hit a column that took you higher and higher. But even if he didn't have his enhanced senses, your constant giggling would give you away.
Yet as loud as you had already been, your shriek was even louder.
Miguel didn't hesitate to jump off the platform.
His heart was pounding as he clocked your falling figure, adrenaline and fear all at once.
You looked dazed in your freefall, unable to comprehend that your cartridges were empty as you kept trying to shoot your webs.
In the nick of time, he caught you by the waist—upside down.
He let out a huge sigh of relief at the same time you turned into heaps of giggles.
"This isn't how I imagined us getting into this position," you snorted as if you weren't dangling a couple of feet above the ground, feet in the air, arms limp and swaying. "Wow…your thigh is bigger than my head!"
Miguel's whole body warmed, not only from your comments but also because you were still in your dress.
Thank fuck it wasn't a loose skirt.
Not that he would ever look. He might be a bit of a grump—temperamental at times, he'll admit—but he was still a gentleman.
Though he was glad you couldn't see the obvious fluster on his face given your current upside-down predicament.
He'd never hear the end of it.
"I'm flipping you around," he said.
"Like a pancake?"
He didn't answer. He simply tossed you into the air, your squeal echoing off the walls. He caught you again but the right way up this time—your hands clinging onto his shoulders, legs around his waist.
Miguel tried not to dwell on your closeness as he shot a web and pulled you both back up.
"You flipped me like a pancake!" you giggled, stumbling onto the platform once you reached it.
What on earth is going on with you?
One look in your eyes, his unspoken question was swiftly answered.
"Widely irresponsible to swing while drunk," he reprimanded, arms crossed over his chest.
You blew a raspberry, waving your hand dismissively. "Am not drunk."
"Then why did I have to save you from falling head-first into the ground?"
"I slipped!"
"You could've just called me to let the platform down."
"And have it take so fucking long?"
Miguel blinked.
Oh you were so drunk.
"I know it's an intimidating tactic or whatever the fuck it is you're doing. Either way, it's a choice, but it doesn't have to be so damn slow, Miggy!"
"I told you to stop calling me that," he said, no heat in his tone. He simply couldn't stand the way his heart did a funny thing whenever he'd hear that nickname slip past your lips.
"Sorry, sir," you said, sarcasm lacing each letter.
Miguel took a deep breath.
"Don't call me that, either," he said, voice an octave deeper.
You rolled your eyes, completely oblivious to the effect you had on him. "Someone's extra grumpy today."
"Night."
"What?"
"It's night."
"Pfft, you know, you should loosen up your suit," you said, waving at all of him. "Maybe the tightness is making you grumpier somehow, suffocating your muscles and everything."
"The tightness of my suit has nothing to do with my mood."
"Could've fooled me," you scoffed, glaring at him from head to toe. "You're probably chafing in weird places and it's making you irritable. I bet—no, I know you're naked underneath because even though I haven't seen you naked I can still see…stuff, many stuff, big stuff, you know, imagination and not leaving any and shit."
"Dios mío," he grumbled in disbelief, rubbing a palm over his warm face. "How drunk are you?"
"Zero percent-o, Miguelito."
He bit back a smile.
"Could've fooled me," he said, raising a brow at you.
"Don't you dare throw my words back at me," you warned, attempting to appear threatening with your chest puffed out, chin raised as you got all up in his face. You slumped with a pout a second later. "You are so fucking tall!"
"And you are so drunk."
"M'not!"
"Uh-huh, sure," he hummed, crossing his arms over his chest.
"Oh I am very sure—Miguel, can you sit down," you complained, brows deeply furrowed as you tried grabbing onto his shoulders, urging him to settle on the chair.
He decided to mess with you a little, planting his feet firmly so you weren't able to budge him even with your enhanced strength.
Your inebriated state wasn't helping your case.
It was the first time he ever got to see you annoyed and he actually found it cute. What, with your brows deeply furrowed and that pout in full play, huffing and puffing as you pushed at his chest with your full body strength, how could he not?
"Miggy sit the fuck down!" you growled.
He resisted the urge to laugh, throwing his hands up as he obliged, "Okay, okay, I'm sitting."
Now, he was the one looking up at you.
Yet you still looked frustrated.
"Is that not any better?" he asked, confused.
"No," you mumbled, glaring down at him, pout still prominent.
The next thing he knew, you were already grabbing onto his shoulders, pushing yourself up the chair.
You sat right on his lap.
Miguel was rarely surprised these days, considering what he did for a living.
But he sure as hell wasn't prepared to have you on top of him.
He could almost feel his brain short-circuit, taking a bit more time and effort for it to get its bearings back into place.
But then, you turned shy, eyes blinking at him all wide with shock as if you didn't know that climbing onto his lap resulted in him and you being so close.
"Hi," you whispered.
"Hello," he murmured, fingers twitching to hold you. He gripped the armrest instead. "Can I ask what exactly it is you're doing?"
"What…was I doing?" you questioned, almost to yourself, scanning the nearly non-existent space between you both before your face lit up. "Oh! I'm trying to talk to you without spraining my neck, genius."
"Is that so?"
"Yeah! You try talking to a six-foot-nine Adonis of a man and see if your neck doesn't hurt after a while."
The corner of his mouth twitched. "Adonis, huh?"
"Not like that," you quickly said, voice shyer. "I mean like…huge, muscular, a-and plump."
"Plump?"
"Yeah!" You nodded enthusiastically, pressing your palms right on top his chest, one on each pec. "You've got plump boobs and ass."
He almost choked on air.
"What has gotten into you?" he asked, thoroughly amused.
"You, hopefully."
"Diosito, ayúdame," he muttered, resisting the temptation to take your word for it. You were drunk. You had no idea what you were saying.
Miguel shook his head when you stared at him confused, still slow on your Spanish. Then again, he'd only ever taught you a few phrases so far.
"How many lemonades did you have?" he asked instead.
"Why are you asking me so many questions!" you groaned, head thrown back as dramatically as you could. "It's my turn to ask questions!"
"Fine," he sighed, ignoring the urge to nip at your exposed skin. He heavily disregarded the thoughts that brewed in his head from the way you were innocently squirming on him, trying to get more comfortable, your skirt hiking up in the process.
He was good at keeping his composure, mastered it after years. He could do it for a couple of minutes more.
"Why'd you disappear?" you sighed.
"Too bright. Too loud."
"Why didn't you tell me you were leaving?"
"You were having fun. Didn't want to spoil your mood," he stated the obvious. "Besides, my absence didn't affect anything."
"But it did," you insisted, bottom lip jutting out. "Was gonna ask you to dance."
His brow rose at that. "And what made you think I'll say yes?"
"You always say yes," you said, shrugging as if it was a known fact to the universe.
If it was you asking? Maybe.
He honestly felt a little glad he left the party early. He wouldn't even dare to imagine the outcome if he was seen out on the dance floor with you.
He would much prefer it with no audience—just you and him.
"I don't always say yes."
You narrowed your eyes, obviously not believing him by one bit.
But you didn't bother to argue.
Instead, you plopped forward, arms wrapping around his shoulders, face pressed against his neck.
Miguel froze.
He honestly didn't know what to do with himself.
Well, he wanted to do so many things at once, he just didn't know if he should—too many boundaries, too dangerous to cross.
A battle between logic and emotions.
You chose for him, though.
"Will you just—" You pulled his arms off the armrest, wrapping it around you instead. "Want cuddles, please."
How could he say no?
And for the first time in a long while, Miguel finally let himself go.
Body relaxing into the seat, he pulled you a little closer, palms rubbing soft patterns on your back as he pressed his cheek against the side of your head.
It had been so long since he'd cuddled with someone, so maybe his judgment was a little skewed. But still, he didn't remember it feeling this lovely—not until now.
Or maybe because it was you.
And if he didn't know any better, he'd say you were purring.
"Comfortable?" he hummed, rubbing the tip of his nose against your crown.
You nodded, taking a deep breath, humming soon after, "I've always wondered just how nice you smell up close."
He couldn't stop the flush that crept up his face.
"You're warm," you whispered, rubbing your face against his neck like a cat.
It made him wonder if you'd been hanging around Spider-Cat too much—or Meows Morales.
He'd rather not think about it.
Instead, he commanded his suit to uncover his hands, one less barrier between his palm and your skin. The fabric of your dress did very little to conceal your warmth as he continued giving you comforting rubs.
It made you bury yourself deeper into his arms as if you could go any further.
"This feels nice," you murmured, voice muffled against him.
He hummed in agreement.
You both settled into a comfortable silence after that.
But if he listened closely, the steady thump of your heartbeat was soft against his ears. He found the sound relaxing, and the minuscule romantic part of him imagined it was syncing with his own.
A peaceful rhythm.
Your soft breaths tickled his skin as you snuggled closer, his smile unabashedly painted on his face.
No one was here to see it, anyway.
After a few more moments of calmness, he assumed you'd already fallen asleep. He was already preparing himself to carry you across universes and back home when you suddenly spoke up,
"Can I touch your fangs?"
He blinked.
"What?"
You shifted, pulling back a little so that you could meet his eyes, face so close your noses almost touched.
"Your fangs," you repeated.
Before he could even respond, your hands were already on his face, one thumb lifting the corner of his lip while your other hand found his chin, holding him still.
"Wanna feel how sharp they are," you muttered, opting to use both hands now to pull his lips and expose his canines.
"Very sharp and dangerous," he chuckled despite himself, gently grabbing your wrists to stop your prodding. "Just take my word for it."
"You're pretty when you smile," you said, beaming and proud as if seeing his fangs was an accomplishment.
He rolled his eyes, unable to stop himself from grinning.
You smiled wider in return.
Holding your hands between you both, he absentmindedly started stroking your palms with his thumb.
It guided your gaze toward it.
"Your hands are naked!" you gasped, grabbing his wrists and bringing his fingers up to your face, wonder and awe in your eyes as if it was the first time you'd seen them without cover—it wasn't.
You'd seen him in casual clothes before.
Miguel couldn't stop his laugh from escaping even if he tried.
"I didn't know you could do that!" you said, fully amazed before your brows furrowed, pout coming back. "Why can't my suit do that? I have to get all naked just to feel my fingers."
He didn't dwell on that picture.
"I'll tweak it for you if you'd like," he said instead.
Your whole face brightened.
"Really? You'd do that?" you giddily gasped, bringing his hands up to press your palms against his like a double high five. The way your hand was much smaller than his made his heart warm.
He interlaced your fingers together. "Really."
"We're going to make a suit together!" you laughed, lovely and sweet. "That's a big big step."
He chuckled, gaze carefully tracing your beautiful features, each curve and divot glowing with happiness. He felt tempted to count every perfectly imperfect mark that littered your skin, wanting to know if it was there naturally, or if there was a story behind it.
It was supposed to be a swift glance.
He didn't mean to settle too long on your lips.
Nor did he plan to get caught.
"Stop staring," you whispered shyly.
"You're right in front of my face," he deflected, eyes back on yours.
"I know but…" You trailed off, shifting slightly, the tips of your noses brushing in the process.
"But?" he softly prodded.
"You're looking at me weird."
"How so?"
"Like…" you started, voice dropping into a whisper as if you were disclosing a secret. "You want to kiss me."
He couldn't even bother to deny the truth.
"I'll stop staring," he hummed, words holding no weight as he never removed his eyes from you.
"No!" you protested, turning flustered a second later, shyer when he smirked.
"I thought it was weird?" he teased.
"'Weird' was the wrong word," you said, scrunching your nose in thought. Adorable. "I meant different."
"How different?"
"I don't know," you admitted, leaning a little closer. "But I like it."
"Oh, do you, now?"
"Yeah," you breathed out, hands finding their way to gently cup his cheeks.
Miguel leaned into your touch with a soft smile. "Now who's staring?"
"It's because I want to kiss you," you admitted shamelessly. Your fingers traced the outline of his lips, your eyes following their path.
Miguel kissed your fingertips.
You leaned down and kissed him.
He gasped, eyes wide in shock.
A split second, they fluttered shut, head tilting, whole body melting as he kissed you back.
He spent countless amounts of time daydreaming about this moment, different scenarios, wondering what you tasted like, how it'd make him feel. But fuck—nothing could ever compare to the real thing.
It was so many things all at once.
Relief, hunger, satisfaction, desperation, fondness, fear, mind stopping, heart beating faster, soft lips, warm skin, so lovely, so sweet, so fucking addicting.
Now that he'd gotten a taste, he couldn't get enough.
Miguel cupped the back of your neck, arm snaking around your waist to keep you steady, close.
Your hand held onto his shoulder, the other finding its way into his hair, your fingers combing through the strands.
He lost any sense of control when you pulled.
Gripping your hips, he teased his tongue against the seam of your lips, slipping it in the second you opened up for him.
He groaned at your taste.
You whimpered in response.
The sound made him want to devour you.
But then you started moving your hips.
It was awakening, in more ways than one.
But the rational part of him prevailed because it was for your sake.
He pulled away, gently grabbing your chin, when you tried going back in.
"Slow down," he rasped, holding your waist and keeping you still. "Estás borracho, corazón."
"You know I don't understand," you breathed out, chest heaving, lips all plump and tempting.
"You're drunk, sweetheart," he clarified.
"I don't care," you whined, squirming.
He cupped your face in both hands.
"I do."
You pouted.
"Don't do that."
"I'm not doing anything."
"Don't pout," he sighed.
"I'm not pouting," you denied.
"You are," he said, brushing his thumb over your bottom lip.
Your pout only turned more prominent.
The beep of the clock broke him out of his trance.
It was midnight.
Miguel stood up, taking you with him before gently urging you to stand on your own two feet.
"It’s late. You should go," he said monotonously and stepped back.
You frowned.
He looked away.
"Why do you always do this?"
You were frustrated—no, you were getting angry.
He turned his back on you, eyes on the holograms even though there was nothing worth looking at.
"Do what?" he said, acting oblivious.
"Confuse the fuck out of me," you said, loud with frustration. "You act cold and distant one minute and then you're being nice and sweet the next. You keep your distance but then call me all these cute nicknames sometimes—and yes, you say them in Spanish but I asked Lyla about it once and she told me what they meant."
Traitor—thrown under the bus by his own invention.
"But then sometimes you give in and we get closer but the second I chip your walls you push me away," you continued, getting angrier by the second. "I thought things were getting better between us. But now, you won't even fucking look at me even after we just kissed—"
"You kissed me."
"You kissed me back!" you screamed.
It took him by surprise.
You had never raised your voice, much less yelled at anyone.
But honestly? There was no one else who deserved it more than him.
Slowly turning around, his heart sank when he met your tear-filled eyes.
By instinct, he reached out to try and comfort you.
It only made you angrier.
"You're doing it again!" you growled and stepped back, hands balled into fists.
Miguel stopped, hands up in surrender.
"I'm just trying to protect you," he softly said.
"Protect me?" you scoffed. "Or protect yourself?"
"I'm doing what's best for you," he reasoned, wanting nothing more than to wipe your tears away and kick his own ass for making you cry in the first place.
"You don't know that!"
"Maybe," he said, hands dropping to his sides, dejected. "But I know myself.
"Someone like me shouldn't be with someone as pure and as bright as you."
"No one gets to decide who I should and shouldn't be with," you gritted, taking long strides until you were squaring up to him. "No one but me. That's my choice."
Despite your boiling anger, despite the fact that you were glaring at him in a way that should scare him, despite the absolute animosity that lingered in your voice, your next words couldn't have brought the most opposite reaction from him.
"And I want to be with you."
Happiness, warmth, euphoria—the few things that made his heart burst at the seams.
But Miguel shook his head, eyes dropping to the ground, quickly stomping down emotions.
"I'm only going to end up hurting you," he sighed, pacing back and forth as he rubbed a frustrated hand over his warm face.
"I trust you that you won't."
"Well, you shouldn't," he insisted, eyes filled with longing, wanting to pull you close and taste your lips again despite his words saying otherwise. "You deserve so much better."
"If you believe that so fucking much then be better."
With that, you turned on your heel.
So many things flashed before his eyes, one of which was if he let you walk away now, he was going to lose you, for good.
He fucking panicked.
So much so that he jumped—right over your head.
You squeaked in shock when he landed in front of you.
Miguel didn't waste a second.
He grabbed your face and kissed you senseless.
You stumbled back, Miguel quickly webbing the chair, pulling it just in time for you to land on the cushion.
Not once did his lips leave yours.
He was bending over, hands grabbing the backrest, trapping you against it. You cupped his face, a shiver running down his spine when you trailed your hands down his chest.
But then you gently pushed him back.
He ignored the ache in his heart as he pulled away.
Miguel dropped to his knees in front of you, taking your hands in his, placing a kiss on each palm before he pressed it against his cheeks.
"I want to be with you so badly," he confessed, eyes never leaving yours so you could see it—all of him at your mercy.
"But I'm scared," he whispered, leaning into your touch. "I'm terrified that all I'll ever do is fail you, that I will never end up being the man that you deserve."
"How would you know if you won't try?" you said, thumbs brushing over his cheekbones with the sweetest smile. "And I know you think otherwise, but you deserve to be happy, too."
Miguel didn't know what to say.
So he didn't.
He kissed you instead.
It was slow, reassuring, a soft touch of your lips on his, but never less passionate.
He would've opted to deepen it a little more, but then you downright yawned between the kiss.
And here he thought you couldn't get cuter.
"You need sleep," he chuckled.
"I don't wanna go home," you grumbled, burying yourself into his chest. "It's too far."
"My room, then?" he offered.
You quickly nodded. He could almost feel you grinning against his suit.
He kissed your forehead. "Come on, let's get you to bed."
"Bed?" you gasped, emerging out of your hiding spot to wriggle your brows at him teasingly. "Gosh, take me out to dinner first."
"What am I going to do with you," he grumbled, shaking his head
"Many things, I hope."
He rolled his eyes, pressing the button to let the platform down.
"Miggy, can you give me a piggyback ride?" you asked, pouting for good measure. "I'm tired."
He sighed, turned around and crouched down.
"He doesn't always say yes he said," you giggled.
"Are you getting on or not?"
"Okay, okay, geez." You grabbed his shoulders and hoisted yourself on his back, arms around his neck, legs around his waist. Cheek pressed against his shoulder, you grinned. "Always eager to have me ride you, huh?"
His face warmed.
"I'll drop you if you won't stop."
"No you won't."
Miguel loosened his grip.
You yelped, quickly tightening your hold around him.
"You're so mean!"
He chuckled, turning his head as much as he could and puckering up his lips.
You giggled as you gave him a chaste kiss, pressing your cheek in between his shoulder blades with a deep sigh.
"Lyla, please send extra blankets and pillows to my quarters," he said, smiling to himself when you suddenly got heavier on his back.
He was sure you'd already fallen asleep.
Lyla appeared in front of him a second later, her grin far too wide for his liking.
"Not a single word about this to anyone," he interrupted whatever it was she was starting to say. "Please. Just…give us time to figure this out."
"Gotcha, boss," she said. "But for the record, I'm doing it for her."
"Good."
•••
You squinted at the bright glare that roused you from your sleep. You always close the curtains, it was part of your nightly routine. Why did you forget it this time?
Sitting up, you flopped back down with a deep groan.
Your head was pounding.
Hungover.
You didn't miss this part of drinking at all.
After a few moments, you slowly opened your eyes, the ceiling looking too unfamiliar.
Glancing down, the color of the sheets wasn't the sky blue you recently changed it into. As a matter of fact, that bed was much bigger than you were used to.
This wasn't your room.
In fact, this wasn't your world.
"What did I do?" you whispered, glancing at the nightstand. You saw the tall glass of water first, then the few pills of aspirin.
It was the framed picture that made you realize where you were.
This was Miguel's room.
Memories from last night came rushing in like a train, using your brain as railroad tracks which made your headache worse.
You quickly gulped down the water and meds, throwing the blankets off of you only to flush at the discovery.
Boxer shorts and a huge jacket—you were wearing his clothes.
Stumbling into the en suite, your heart warmed at the extra toothbrush that was already waiting for you.
You quickly made yourself as presentable as possible before making your way to the only place you knew he would be at this time of day.
First to clock in, last to clock out.
The platform was already down when you got there.
It was as if he was waiting for you.
"Morning, sleepy head," Miguel greeted without looking away from the screens.
"Good morning," you responded shyly. You picked at the hem of his jacket, second-guessing your choice of not changing out of it.
You honestly didn't know where to even begin.
As if sensing your discomfort, he turned his chair to face you.
Something flashed in his eyes for a brief moment, something primal as he regarded your figure. It was gone the next second you might as well have imagined it.
"Come here," he murmured, reaching out both hands for you to take.
Walking over to him, you slipped your hands into his, the platform beginning its ascend once you did.
You gasped in surprise when he suddenly pulled you onto his lap.
He placed your hands on his shoulders, his strong fingers curling around your waist.
You couldn't look him far too long in the eyes.
It felt like you'd combust if you did.
"What, now you're shy?" he teased, smirking freely. It was a good improvement, but you didn't know if your heart could take it having him smile at you like that. "You didn't seem to have a problem with this last night."
"Don't remind me," you groaned, hiding your face between your hands.
Miguel chuckled.
God this was so new.
It felt like you were drunk all over again—no sense of what was real and what was all in your head.
But with the soft squeeze on your waist, and the gentle fingers circling around your wrists, pulling your hands away from your face, you knew this was as real as it was going to get.
"What else do you remember?" he asked, thumbs drawing random shapes on the insides of your wrist.
You scrunched up your face. "Everything?"
He hummed, leaning a little closer to nudge the tip of your nose with his, urging you to keep your eyes on him.
"I have no idea how to do this…relationship thing. It's been a while," he started, a faint blush on his cheeks that made him so much more endearing. "But I'm willing to try this—with you."
Your heart grew ten times its size, you were sure of it.
"Yeah?"
He nodded, kissing your knuckles. "If you'll let me."
"We'll figure it out together," you said, holding his face in your hands with a smile.
"I'd like that," he whispered, grin turning cheeky. "On one condition."
"What?" Your brows furrowed.
"Morning kisses are mandatory."
You let out a hearty laugh, sound quick to turn into giggles when Miguel pressed his lips against yours.
It didn't take long for things to get heated.
You were picking up right where you left off last night, a little further given that alcohol wasn't in the equation anymore.
Yet with the way Miguel's hands were roaming your body, grabbing and groping whatever he could reach, tongue hot and heavy as it slipped past your lips, his deep groans vibrating against your palms as you rested it on his chest, his kisses moving their way onto the warm skin on your neck, softly nipping, tongue soothing—it was far more dizzying than any modified alcohol and then some.
It was a familiar voice that broke you off this time.
"Ahem! Uh, hello, I'm here!" It echoed from below. "The baby, too, by the way. So make sure you're…uhm, decent when you bring that thing down."
Miguel pulled away with an annoyed groan, eyes landing on the floating figure that appeared behind you.
If he could kill Lyla with one look—
"What?" she exclaimed. "I didn't say anything!"
"She didn't! You guys just weren't particularly…quiet," Peter B. defended on her behalf, chuckling. "And this place has the worst echo."
"Yeah, that's your fault," you whispered against his lips, pecking him one last time before getting off his lap.
He wasn't particularly happy about that either.
You pushed the button before he could say anything, the platform descending, smiling at him all innocent.
"I'm not done with you," he warned, voice deep with lust it made your whole body tingle.
"I'm counting on it." You winked, hopping off the platform before he could even respond.
Mayday landed in your arms before you could take a step.
"Hi, beautiful girl!" you greeted cheerfully, her chubby cheeks lifting as she giggled at you. "
"I wouldn't rush it," you heard Peter say.
"What?" Miguel gritted, still so annoyed.
"I know you're thinking about having a baby with her."
You bit back a laugh.
The utter silence from Miguel made it so much harder.
"You know nothing," he grumbled.
"Maybe," Peter chuckled, patting him on the back. "About time you made your move though."
Miguel grumbled something incoherent and turned back towards the screen.
Still, you caught the smile he was trying to hide.
It made you warm and fuzzy inside.
You walked over to him with Mayday in your arms. "Say hi to Uncle Miggy!"
Always your best accomplice, Mayday made grabby hands at him, blubbering, "Middy! Middy!"
Miguel sighed, carefully taking Mayday from you, before giving her a soft smile—the only other person he wasn't grumpy to. "Hello, peanut."
She giggled in response, climbing onto his shoulders, settling on them with her arms above his head. She always loved being so tall.
Miguel shot you a glare then, no heat to it at all. If anything, it was filled with pure fondness.
You grinned at him.
"You're a bad influence," he whispered to you.
"I don't think I am, Middy," you teased, standing on your tippy toes to place a kiss on his lips.
The way he suddenly turned flustered was adorable.
And when Mayday made a yucky sound, and Peter B. laughed, you knew your work of teasing him for the day was done.
"Come on, bub, let's go get you ice cream," you called, the little girl giggling in delight before jumping into your arms. You sent Miguel a wink before leaving him to deal with his beloved friend's teasing. Peter was practically waiting for this moment.
Many people regretted what they had done while drunk, especially when it involved something embarrassing.
Not you.
You regret nothing at all.
✫*。・゚.★. *。・゚♛ *.
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#tg&td#miguel o'hara#miguel o'hara x reader#miguel o'hara fanfiction#miguel o'hara one shot#miguel o'hara fluff#miguel o'hara x female reader#miguel o'hara oneshot#miguel o'hara x you#miguel o'hara reader insert#atsv miguel#spiderman 2099#spider-man: across the spider-verse#atsv#my writing
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Okay, Matrix plagiarism case postscript
One thing I didn't answer is how she got the Wachowski's timeline wrong. I still don't know, but it appears she essentially shifted their lives back a decade
She says less than a decade ago they were running a construction business, but actually, working at a construction company is what they were doing in 1986. In 1976 Lana and Lilly were eleven and nine years old respectively. I can't explain why she messed this up, beyond having to age them up a decade for the story to work
But this screencap also brings up another thing she mentions repeatedly that I didn't mention - the smoking gun in her claim is that...the Matrix ripped off her words verbatim for its opening crawl. The opening crawl...to The Matrix.
Huh?
So her story is - and unsurprisingly the timeline here is jumbled, for instance, citing production interviews from 1997 when the film wouldn't enter production until 1998 - the original version of The Matrix contained a Star Wars-style opening crawl, and this was the most directly plagiarized part of the film.
She claims this opening crawl was, in fact, in the theatrical release of The Matrix and only removed when it came to home media, because she. Because she called the FBI on the Wachowskis for stealing the idea of opening crawls from her
The theatrical cut does differ from later versions slightly - most infamously the Wachowskis made the green color filter much more green in the second DVD release, to make it consistent with the style of the sequels - but if there was a opening crawl mandated by the studio, nobody but her has mentioned it, and I find it hard to believe critics wouldn't mention it.
Because this is Dark City. She's clearly confused The Matrix with stories about the studio's meddling with the 1998 film Dark City.
Dark City was the dystopian sci-fi film that had a opening narration explaining the whole plot foisted on it by the studio, and critics mentioned it. Basically every review mentioned it (some even suggest covering your ears or muting the film the first time you see it, at least until the Director's Cut removed it). Meanwhile, reviews of The Matrix praised its opening from the very beginning: how it drops you right into things and lets you find out about its world as Neo does. It's just not possible that the theatrical release has a opening crawl no one mentioned when I can pull up full comparisons of theatrical vs first DVD vs second DVD vs Bluray. Whatever story she read either was about Dark City, or was a Wachowski saying in passing "yeah the studio wanted us to add one but we didn't".
Another thing I didn't touch on is just how much it hypes her up as a untouchable genius of cinema. For instance, she claims to have come up with the effects of The Matrix in 1983 too
(one funny part is how little she brings up The Terminator at all? She just threw it in as a bonus I guess)
I looked up how they did the bullet time effect in particular and...it would have been impossible in 1983. It's not just high speed photography; it's entire banks of cameras, placed in the right place by computer previsualization, their sequence programmed, and with all the elements composited together by CGI. Even stylistically - the true creator of the effects cited Akira as a influence, and Akira the movie didn't exist in 1983. Neither did the type of Hong Kong action film that heavily influenced it. I guess it would be possible to write down "someone goes really fast and we depict it like they slowed down time", concepts of a plan etc
But like.
She's destined to be one of the most profound master writers of the 21st century. This is a book proving she's never written anything. It has a pitch for The Third Eye, it has a second film treatment tacked on at the end, and it has copyright registrations for her sequels to Terminator and The Matrix. M. Night Shyamalan's character in Lady in the Water was destined to be a great writer too, but he actually wrote a book. He didn't put out a book with a decades-old synposis that was never finished & reams of legal documents and a bio saying, I'm one of the greatest authors of all time. Because who needs writing when you have destiny, God, and the ancient superrace living in the Pyramids on your side?
This is my for real last post on this since I ended up just depressed about it in the end. I think the worst part is, she knows she lost. But she still goes to the press telling a story she knows isn't true, and people believe her. Some of it is transphobic - "stop saying it's a trans allegory when they stole it"; some of it runs with the Christian oppression narrative (full disclosure, I was inspired to look for her book again bc while looking up another crank, I saw an interview with her in the sidebar of a religious website); but a lot of it is just people who innocently want it to be true.
One of the few pieces debunking her story is on a website called Black Excellence - it doesn't even have a byline - said this:
"There are many people, especially Black people, who wanted the story to be true. It symbolized a Black person, especially a Black woman, finally winning against the system. When Sophia Stewart spoke about how mainstream media would not give her the time of day because almost all of them were owned by Warner Brothers, some Black media embraced her. Blogs spread her story, especially the initial story on Globe that contained errors about the case.
"But the story is not true. Sophia Stewart did not become the richest Black person in the country. But that did not deter her from going on several shows and publications to tell her story."
She took advantage of people's urge to root for the underdog against a corporation - and seized on a lack of mainstream coverage to claim her story was being suppressed. But it just isn't true. Also yeah she ridiculously claims that Warner Bros owns every news website and newspaper and that's kind of funny I guess. Well, that's it. I'm never doing this again
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I really enjoyed seeing your last post!!! It reminded me of something else that I noticed when I was younger and not really seeing LO through the eyes I am now- even when I lived LO, I noticed that Minthe’s bust size.. Might’ve changed? (I could be remembering wrong, and I’m sorry if I am!) I didn’t think on it too much back then, but it felt a lot like the “she could never measure up to Persephone”, or the “she’s nothing to worry about when it comes to Persephone”!!
But then, when Minthe was supposed to be more of a “problem,” I noticed she’d get drawn with a larger bust- or at least larger than it had been back in the earliest episodes!
This could all make absolutely no sense, (and I apologize for just rambling in your askbox!), but I watching a character’s “worthiness” be portrayed through something as simple and neutral as their chest size stuck out to me then, and sticks out to me now!! 😓)
Oh don't apologize, you're literally pointing out exactly the things we've even talked about in the ULO community !
Literally here she is in S1:
And we even get a scene of her smooshing her boobs together in Episode 35 in an effort to make them seem bigger because she legit feels like Hades is pursuing the "new hotness" in the office based around their physical appearances:
But then she conveniently goes up like 3 cup sizes when it's time for her to be cemented as the villain and suffer her fate by getting turned into a plant?
I've literally seen fans grasp at straws to explain that maybe she got a boob job but then they don't realize that the story at this point has only been going on for like, 3-4 weeks at most. At best you shouldn't have to make those massive leaps to explain the inconsistent character body types. If Minthe really did get a boob job, don't you think that's something that should have been explained in the comic?
And let's be real, we all know what it's really about because it's just more of Rachel pitting women against women:
What's wild though is that Rachel is vastly misinterpreting a classic image here:
A lot of people look at that image of Jayne Mansfield and Sophia Loren and just immediately assume that Sophia is giving Jayne the stink eye over her outfit. And of course, we see this misinterpretation in Rachel's drawing that swaps Sophia and Jayne with Minthe and Persephone.
When in FACT what was actually going on was that Sophia spotted Jayne getting dangerously close to a wardrobe malfunction / nip slip and the camera just happened to catch her making a face that could be misinterpreted as slut-shaming.
"Yes, Paramount had organized a party for me. All of cinema was there, it was incredible. And then comes in Jayne Mansfield, the last one to come. For me, that was when it got amazing. She came right for my table. She knew everyone was watching. She sat down. And now, she was barely… Listen. Look at the picture. Where are my eyes? I'm staring at her nipples because I am afraid they are about to come onto my plate. In my face you can see the fear. I'm so frightened that everything in her dress is going to blow—BOOM!—and spill all over the table."
Ans Sophia has actually stated that she doesn't like those misinterpretations and is trying to actively distance herself from it.
"Actually, many, many times I am given this photo to autograph it. And I never do. I don't want to have anything to do with that. And also out of respect for Jayne Mansfield because she's not with us anymore."
Jayne died in 1967, only living for about 30 years, and Sophia herself is actually still around. I can imagine how disheartening it is to see people still misinterpreting a photo of two friends and colleagues especially when it's through the lens of slut-shaming an accomplished actress who is unfortunately no longer with us.
Sooo yeah all that said, I'm less inclined to believe it was Minthe getting a boob job and more inclined to believe it was more of Rachel's weird internalized misogyny picking and choosing which women are "sluts" and which ones are "victims" for dressing or being built a certain way. It's really gross when you start to notice it.
People have also pointed out how odd it is that every single character who gets into a relationship or is in a relationship by S3 seemingly morphs into copies of Hades and Persephone, which is really just more of a testament to how lazy Rachel is in her character designs. In her head she's just trying Hades and Persephone all the time but different colors, I imagine at this point the H x P relationship is the only thing that she's interested in writing/drawing about (and even that's arguably hanging on by a thread because she couldn't even let their long-awaited wedding scene have real room to breathe) so it's almost like she's defaulting to just zoning out and drawing nothing but H x P and then having her assistants color them differently based on who it's actually supposed to be.
But I digress. The body shaming and slut shaming is definitely hard-baked into LO and how it portrays its characters. Despite Rachel having written an actual comic portraying sexism in the past, she still can't seem to express her ideas around sexism, to the point of, again, saying she "didn't know sexism was that bad" until she worked on LO. Like, girl... you drew a comic about sexism before LO, what are you talking about? Is this more of you not wanting to acknowledge ANY of the work you did prior to LO, or are you telling me you didn't intend for those older works to be interpreted as sexism???
"I feel like female characters in general, people will be a little harsher on them and sometimes way harsher on them, and I used to be like.. before I started writing the story and like making a story I was like yeah, sexism is not that bad, and [now] I was like oh it's bad. It's quite bad [laughs], so like, I don't know, I feel like the female characters in the story don't get so much of a pass. But this isn't consistent across the board, it's not all the time." - Rachel Smythe, Girl Wonder Podcast circa 2022
#WHICH IS IT RACHEL#DO YOU THINK SEXISM WASN'T THAT BAD OR DO YOU BLAME THE PATRIARCHY FOR EVERYTHING#DO YOU THINK PEOPLE ARE TOO HARSH ON YOUR FEMALE CHARACTERS OR DO YOU MEAN JUST PERSEPHONE-#lore olympus critical#anti lore olympus#lo critical#ama#ask me anything#anon ama#anon ask me anything
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# :: 𝒕𝒆𝒏 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒔 🫧 - 𝒄𝒊𝒏𝒆𝒎𝒂 𝒄𝒍𝒖𝒃 𝒑𝒓𝒆𝒔𝒊𝒅𝒆𝒏𝒕 𝒄𝒉𝒂𝒓𝒍𝒊𝒆
i could definitely rewrite this with a different mini obsession plot
part 2
charlie was big on making sure that the club always had a big meeting at least once every two weeks
discussing the latest movies and even the classics were an important part of keeping debates going and he always wanted to expand the number of members coming every week
however he only really noticed the numbers climbing in their ranks when a certain girl started frequently appearing at the back of the classroom to quietly sit and listen for the entirety of the clubs period
it took him a couple of visits to recognise the face but it was you
you sit in front of him in a couple of classes and after that day he couldn’t get you out of his brain
the way you fiddle with your hair when writing something down
or the way you cross your legs over each other when someone mentions a particularly gory scene in a movie
he found himself always looking over at you to see your reaction when he was at the front of the room talking
you barely looked up and even if you did it was when he wasn’t looking
always taking notes and smiling to yourself
the increase in cinema club goers after you is what surprised him
to him you weren’t the clique type or even the popular type
you hadn’t spoken a word to him or robbie since you’d started attending
most of the guys that would come to the club only to stare and gawk at you most definitely got grilled by charlie on movie questions he knew they had no idea about
he didn’t want them in here, not when he couldn’t even tell if it made you uncomfortable or not
his life goal for the club was to now ask these guys so many detailed questions and embarrass them so much that they didn’t even want to come back
cinema clubs numbers would suffer slightly but if that’s what it took
anything to just be able to keep you there as long as possible
robbie would mention you a couple of times after the club was out but after he didn’t get a very detailed reply from charlie he figured it was a sore spot
“how come you haven’t even mentioned kirby in a while man, did you get your dick cut off or somethin’? “
after you came in on a particularly hot day wearing a rather short skirt he really had to hide behind the front desk he normally stood in front of
as you started stealing glances at him and catching his back he really didn’t know what to do with himself
that day was the day he started stuttering like no other
after many weeks and most of the unwanted creeps gone from his club or mysteriously kicked out you stayed longer one day
after everyone had mostly cleared out, you stood up and quickly scribbled down a couple of words on a piece of paper and walked towards him
robbie ‘noticed’ before he did but let’s be honest he was just trying to play it cool in case you were just walking past
he didn’t think he’d be so nervous for just a tap on the shoulder
when he turned around all you did was hand him the piece of paper with a rose tint dusted over your cheeks
“I know it’s not a scary movie but it’s really interesting, from a women’s point of view- i mean” you left
charlie wasn’t one to be dumbfounded on more than just movies but you actually just spoke to him
uncrumpling the paper he found the words ‘10 things I hate about you’ and robbie laughed
the note also had a ‘-my favourite movie’ tagged onto the end with a heart
“you’re seriously not going to consider that movie are you?”
charlie facial expression didn’t change “it couldn’t hurt could it?”
robbie didn’t go home happy that day
he ended up going home and watching the movie twice over just so he could do everything possible for the next day
cinema club was concerned for their president the next day as they’d never reviewed a non horror film before why not a cheesy romance
“c’mon charlie what’s up with the film choice”
“hey i take suggestions you guys just never give them”
after the session was over he carefully walked over to your desk
“y’know i actually liked that movie”
you laughed “ you don’t have to lie to me to talk to me”
charlie had never blushed so hard
the club president wasn’t just obsessed with horror it seemed
please request more things so i can get writing again!
#scream#scream 4#charlie walker#charlie walker hcs#charliewalker#scream movie#scream charlie walker#charlie walker x reader#rory culkin
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Male centipede-alien x transmasc nonbinary reader (nsfw)
Disclaimer which I’m including in all my works after plagiarism and theft has taken place: I do not give my consent for my works to be used, copied, published, or posted anywhere. They are copyrighted and belong to me.
Final commission from my batch of five! For @mongoose-king!
Content: sassy, confident, transmac reader, non-penetrative sex, oral sex, 't-cock' used for human's genitals, no other areas specified/mentioned. Brief threat to life (not from monster), some mention of isolation on a planet. And a giant pet slug. Wordcount: 6749
“Well. That’s… unexpected,” you croaked, staring incredulously at the small screen on the sleeve of your white space suit as it blinked a red and improbable warning at you.
The planet wasn’t exactly hostile to humans, but the harsh sun and arid air made being outside for long periods of time pretty uncomfortable for humans, and the oxygen levels were low enough that it made you dizzy if you didn’t take a gulp from your suit’s mask from time to time at the very least.
You were quite possibly the only other sapient being within about nine thousand miles, but while you were cataloguing obscure and previously unknown kinds of invertebrate, the research team on the literal other side of the world were geologists from Meliikos Prime, and they didn’t speak Galactic Common very well. They’d been polite enough when you’d hailed them out of courtesy when you’d flown in though, and when they’d discovered you were human, they’d beamed over their extensive survey data of the terrain and marked off water supplies too, which you’d thought was pretty nice of them.
Other than rocks and a few cool bugs though, there really wasn’t anything to write home about on this planet; certainly nothing that was going to win you any research accolades. It wasn’t on any of the major hyperspace links, there were no relay stations in this quadrant, and so far, other than a supremely flamboyant species of flatworm living in a toxic geothermal pool near your research ship, and a type of slug as big as a golden retriever that, rather relatably, hadn’t moved in over a week, there wasn’t anything of note here at all.
And yet, the general alert on your space suit had just calmly announced that a heavy cruiser bearing the insignia and codes of the Porphaerian Empire was inbound to your location and all civilians of the Republic were advised to evacuate the planet as soon as possible and make their way to the nearest Bastion. You weren’t even sure where the nearest military outpost was, given that the ever-belligerent Porphaerian Empire had never shown any interest in invertebrates on remote planets before, and this planet in particular sat on the outer reaches of the known universe and was so bloody insignificant that it hadn’t even acquired a proper name. It was still just: OR-2559-B.
“The fuck?” It came out as a little strangled yelp as you looked up into the purple-ish blue of your dear OR-2559-B’s atmosphere to find the silhouette of a huge ship appearing out of the veil of wispy clouds that whisked and drifted around on the upper currents. These things were only supposed to exist in immersive VR cinemas, and only then to get blown up by plucky pilots operating under astronomically small odds. Plucky you might have been, but you were neither a pilot nor currently in possession of anything more powerful than a handheld scanner for identifying the chemical composition of various types of bug goop. Your ship didn’t even have cannons, though there was a small pistol under the console, just in case.
You snatched up the tray of samples you’d spent the last three hours taking from the placid wildlife around the stream and legged it back towards the small and laughably fragile buggy that you used to cover greater distances into the field from your research ship. By the time you’d jounced over the rough terrain of the plateau and yelled at your little buggy to please find a little more juice in her batteries to get you up the hill at a pace faster than a mildly-inconvenienced slug, you saw other shapes flitting like bats around the underside of the huge cruiser. Fighters.
“Oh come on,” you groaned. Your ship lowered the ramp as it detected your approach and you steered the wheezing buggy up the incline and into the cargo hold, tripping over the side of the roll cage as you floundered to exit the darned thing, and raced to the hatch that would lead you up into the cockpit.
Sweeping a week’s worth of papers and vac-packed ration wrappers off the console, you punched in your code and yelled at the ship to come out of its sleepy hibernation state, which it did with enviable efficiency.
“Hostile signatures detected,” she said in that irritatingly calm voice she had under all circumstances.
“Well the fuck aware, thank you. Now, can we get out of here please?”
The brief thought flickered across your mind that it probably wouldn’t help matters if the ship’s AI screamed at you in panic instead of speaking in a monotone if she blew something down in the engine room, but you had little time to dwell on that as a larger fighter roared right past the windshield and a huge energy blast swept over the ship.
Instinctively, you covered your face and closed your eyes, and when the accompanying cloud of dust and debris had finished raining down and clinking off the glass and metal structure of the ship, you realised she had gone eerily quiet. “Girlie?” you exhaled into the relative silence.
Nothing. Hell, you’d take that dull monotone over this any day.
Opening your eyes and lowering your arms, your body flooded with adrenaline when you saw that all her screens were dark, and the lights had gone off. “Oh, you fucking assholes!” you yelled in the vague direction of the enemy cruiser. “You want my bug slime? Fine! Take it! But you leave my fucking ship alone!”
It was strange what came out of your mouth in times of stress, but you weren’t given the luxury of being able to the psychology of a lone human put suddenly under the immense pressure of an unforeseen and life-threatening situation, because a small fighter landed outside and you scrabbled under the console to retrieve the pistol that you’d placed there on the off-chance you ran into something that thought a scrawny research scientist in a space suit looked more appealing than its usual diet.
A blaster bolt battered its way through the hull of your ship and several more created an enormous smoking hole where the hatch had been, and you stood there, wide eyed, as three Porphaerian soldiers appeared like cartoon villains out of the twisting black smoke. They were all wearing black, form-fitting space suits made of some fancy, matte, composite material, and a shiny, black helmet with a blacked-out visor that revealed nothing of their slightly reptilian features underneath. Their three-fingered hands were also gloved, and they all bore a weapon of some kind: the one at the front of the trio had a blaster, while the one to their left — your right — had some kind of bludgeon that zapped with a purple energy at one end, and the other had a net that crackled with the same energy and a trident with barbed points.
“What do you want?” you chirped, hoping you sounded more composed than you felt. You tightened your hold on the grip of your pistol at your side, and glared at them. “And why are you blowing holes in my baby girl’s hull? She’s a scientist. What’s she ever done to you?”
Your words and tone seemed to confuse the leader of the three Porphaerians for a moment, and they froze, tilting their helmeted head to one side. Seven foot tall, bipedal, with four arms and a long, slashing tail that whipped back and forth behind it like a lizard in a tizzy, they should have been intimidating, but you were so damned outraged at the whole situation, it was hard to be fully afraid. The one to their left let out a growl and chittered something in their incomprehensible language. That was just one of the many things that made the bloody Porphaerians think they were better than everyone else: they had the most convoluted and complicated method of communication out of almost all known species.
“Well, what the fuck do you want?” you barked. As if you had somewhere else you needed to be.
With a put-upon sigh, the leader began to talk in Galactic Common, though their mouth full of pointed teeth wasn’t really equipped for its syllables. “You are in… possession of… a substance that is of… interest to our Great and Glorious Empire.”
You blinked. “You guys… really do want my bug slime?”
“Your… what?”
“I’m a scientist. I’m studying invertebrates. Bugs. The slug outside — its name is Goldie, by the way, and it had better not have come to any harm because of you losers — has become a bit of a mascot in the week and a half it’s been resting on that rock.”
“We are not here for… ‘bugs’.”
“Then I’ve got nothing for you, buddy,” you said with a slightly wild grin that was about 99% panic. If you had nothing to offer them, they’d probably just kill you for the inconvenience of a wasted trip. “But if you tell me more about what you’re after, then perhaps I can help?” You had no intention of actually helping them, but stalling them was going to buy you a few more precious minutes to think of a way out of this, so you took it.
“You are… researching… the refractive properties of… a newly-discovered mineral,” the leader said in stilted Common. “Surrender your research and all samples, and we will leave you unharmed.”
Minerals. Shit, that was the nice team from Meliikos Prime.
“I see that you are cognisant of our request.”
“I… what? No.” You stuck your thumb comically towards your chest and grinned, “Bug guy. Not rocks. And that was not a request either. You guys need to work on your Common. Your vocab is seriously lacking.”
One of them twitched their head as if something had come in over the comms, and all three of them tightened their grip on their weapons.
“Seems like you were telling the truth,” the leader scoffed and raised their blaster.
You barely got to duck out of the way before a shot went off, but when you rolled and came up, you saw that the hole where they’d been standing was now empty. A second later, you heard scuttling on the roof of your ship and panic set in for the first time.
The tapping of many legs skittered across the roof and towards the gap in the side, and then at the top of the hole caused by the Porphaerian’s blaster damage, a creature appeared, peering down over the torn and burned edge of the hole. At first, all you saw was a pair of long, caramel brown antennae investigating the space, but a head soon followed, adorned with colossal, mean looking mandibles that could probably punch a second hole through your poor ship’s hull with even less effort than the blaster bolt.
“What the fuck?” you coughed, reeling backwards. You’d never seen any sign of a centipede that size on this planet. When you spotted one of the Porphaerians moving in the limited view outside though, raising their weapon, you yelped and flailed your arms to get it to move, “Watch out!”
In a sinuous motion, the creature looked up, hissed, and slithered on its series of many, jointed legs down to where the Porphaerian was now standing. It reared up, lashing out with forelegs that looked at once deadly and fragile, like alabaster in the strange light of the planet’s atmosphere, and then in a flash, it lunged for the neck of its would-be attacker and closed its steel-jaw mandibles around it. A green fluid burst like an overripe fruit, and you wondered if that was Porphaerian blood or the creature’s venom. The second Porphaerian was caught by the whiplash of its tail and flung into the side of their fighter ship, and the third was nowhere to be seen.
When the centipede-like creature was done decapitating, it turned around and regarded you. It wasn’t just a giant centipede, you realised, as it had more of an upper torso section, with armoured ‘shoulders’ and a couple of limbs at the top that were more like arms with hands than the sickle-like claws that adorned the rest of the legs on its long, segmented, chocolate brown body, and it was regarding you from black, beady eyes with obvious intellect.
Only when it paused, staring at you while your charred ship smoked like something forgotten on a barbecue, did you notice that it had a kind of bandoleer around those shoulders, though it didn’t have cartridges or ammunition that you could see. Instead, there were pockets and some kind of comms device, and… you frowned. “You’re… with the Republic?” you faltered when you saw the insignia.
The alien nodded.
“You have any idea why the fuck the fucking Porphaerian Empire was after my little research ship? Actually, scratch that. They said they were after some funky mineral and — oh God, the geology guys! They —”
The creature chittered something at you, and while you didn’t understand it, you realised it had a distinct air of impatience, with a touch of exasperation thrown in too.
“What?”
Its chitinous shoulders drooped and it scuttled a little closer to the blackened hole in your ship before rearing up and peering in like a dog looking out of a window. You almost laughed, and then realised you were probably a little hysterical from all the adrenaline.
In a rasping, scraping voice, the creature said in Galactic Common, “The team from Meliikos are safe. They told me about you. I came to get you. We need to leave.” Then, after casting a quick, backwards glance, they added, “Now.”
And before you could do so much as grab your favourite pencil from your workstation, the creature had slithered into the ship, scooped you up in its uppermost arms, and was retreating at what felt like a hundred miles an hour out of the shell of your destroyed ship, and out towards the rocky plateau at the bottom of the slope.
As you passed the seemingly-dormant giant slug, you chuckled as it raised its head, eye-stems appearing, and you waved. “So long, Goldie! Take care! I’ll miss our chats!”
“Are you… alright?” the centipede-alien asked, sounding genuinely concerned for your sanity.
Perhaps you’d been alone on OR-2559-B for a few months too long after all. With a shrug, you let yourself be jostled lightly along in their arms and tried not to watch the mesmeric pattern of their honey-gold legs as they rippled beneath their segmented body over the uneven terrain. “Goldie’s been by my side since I got here. I’ve shared most of my research with her. I’m 95% sure she has some pretty nuanced opinions on that comedy military drama thing that came out on earth about a hundred years ago…”
“I will have you checked out by our ship’s medic,” the centipede-alien said as they thundered over the terrain, and you laughed and settled into their arms. Your research had been funded by the Republic, so if one of their soldiers had been sent to rescue you, they could file the reports and figure out what happened next. Honestly, as much as you’d formed an attachment to the community of flamboyant flatworms and the super-gigantic slug, you were suddenly looking forward to an excuse to go off-world and, you know, interact with people again. You just had to make it past the heavy cruiser and its fleet of fighters first.
It turned out that your centipede friend was part of some kind of elite team that made extraction from a hostile environment look like a visit to the archives, and you were tucked away in the corner of their nippy little shuttle while an alien of a species you didn’t recognise, with a crown of antlers and skin like a red nebula, piloted you away from the Porphaerians and out into deeper space. It was one of the roughest take-offs you’d ever endured, but it worked, and it was oddly heart-warming when the Meliikos team all looked around and waved at you in obvious relief when the centipede-alien brought you on board the Republic ship.
The ship’s medic turned out to be really nice, and when you explained that your supplies had all been left on the research ship along with literally the rest of your life in space, they set you up again with your regular prescriptions, and checked you over. After you’d recovered from the aftereffects of the shock, they were happy to discharge you, and you headed out to explore the ship.
Just as you waved your hand in front of the release mechanism for the medbay door though, it was opened by someone from outside, and you took a step back to avoid a collision. The person on the other side halted abruptly in the doorway — literally filling the doorway — and you tipped your head up to take in the full sight of them. It was your saviour, and you grinned at them at the same time as they made a kind of chittering with their thick, black mandibles and waggled their long antennae.
“Hey,” you smiled. “Listen, thanks for getting me out of there like that. I was kind of out of it on the ride over. I never got your name.”
A series of distinctive clicks and chatters left the creature, and you grimaced.
“You got a Galactic Common alternative? My mouth doesn’t, uh… move like that.” The more you thought about their mouth though, the more interested you were in them. They really were beautiful, with a mahogany brown, segmented body and paler legs, and a head with a woodgrain pattern that you hadn’t noticed before.
The centipede alien nodded and laughed, and then said in that harsh voice like bending steel, “I’ve been called ‘Kerritt’ before by humans because of the sound of my name in my own language. You may call me Kerritt, and I use the human equivalent of male pronouns. What should I call you?”
You told him, and he nodded seriously.
“Are you feeling well? I could show you around the ship, but the First Officer would like to speak with you before we do anything else. She sent me down to see if you are well enough to have an audience with her.”
He spoke in short, stilted phrases and his upper body swayed a little. The majority of his body was like that of a giant centipede, but he had a definite waist section that was different from the rest of the segments of chitin and it rose vertically while the rest of him stayed parallel to the ground. And yes, those uppermost limbs were definitely more like arms, with hands that ended in chitinous points and sections of chitin that were more like bracers and gauntlets. His eyes were glossy black, almond shaped, and huge. The way they were placed far apart on his insectoid head was really rather sweet as he regarded you attentively, his long antennae constantly waving up and down in a slow, mesmeric pattern.
“I’m good,” you nodded. “Bit shaken up, and confused as heck, but I’m good. Let’s go talk to your First Officer. Maybe she can explain why the fuck the Porphaerians mistook the bugs guy for the rocks guys.”
He chuckled. “The Meliikosian team will take offence if you call them the ‘rocks guys’,” he said as he turned around in a sinuous curve and began to lead you up the ship’s gleaming corridor towards the bridge. “They are a proud and reserved people.”
“Nah, we’re cool. They like me. They waved at me when you brought me on board. In their culture, that’s practically a marriage proposal, right?”
Again, Kerritt laughed. “Perhaps. Though if you’re so easy to get along with, why did your university send you to one of the most remote places in the entire universe?”
“Ouch! Actually, the Head of the Department was so jealous of my research that she got me funding for a project that would take me as far from the capital as it’s possible to go…” you said in a conspiratorial whisper.
“Really?”
“No,” you snorted. “I have an insatiable hunger for the unknown, and some trader mentioned that a cargo pilot said that a friend of hers said there were weird bugs on OR-2559-B. So, I got funding and headed out.”
“That’s… convoluted,” Kerritt said diplomatically. “You went all that way to study invertebrates? Are there none on your planet?”
You eyed him up and down and watched his antennae pull back a little. Was that trepidation? “Sure there are, but what can I say? I’m a dedicated researcher.”
“Right.”
The conversation with the First Officer didn’t last long. She was a colossal Grummgarian with orange-yellow skin and horns on her chin, and absolutely zero patience. When she realised that the only reason you’d drawn Porphaerian attention was by accident, she informed you that you’d be dropped off at the Bastion and would be provided with transport passes back to your university, before she dismissed you with a wave of her three-fingered hand and Kerritt escorted you from the bridge.
“A bit of warning would have been nice,” you shot sidelong at him as the doors closed behind you with a soft thunk.
“There is no warning adequate for that woman,” he said dryly. “You were better off going in cold. Shall I give you a tour of the ship?”
You nodded and followed him as he helped you get your bearings. “Tell me about yourself?” you asked. “I mean, I’ve met a few different species, but I’ve never met anyone quite like you.”
“Oh,” he said, and clicked his mandibles. “Do you wish to study me too then? Since I am technically an invertebrate myself, after all.”
“Maybe, if you’ll let me,” you said with a wink and watched his antennae pull back again.
“I think I could be persuaded,” he replied. “I’ve not had much contact with your kind either. I didn’t expect you to be so…” he leaned down and tilted his head “… soft. How did you survive the atmosphere of OR-2559-B? I was led to believe that you require higher oxygen levels for respiration?”
“Space suit,” you said. “It did make me a bit dizzy sometimes, but you know, that can be fun too, under the right circumstances.”
“My sources were right about one thing,” Kerritt said dryly as he drew himself back up to his usual posture.
“What’s that?”
“Humans have strange preferences.”
“Baby, you have no idea,” you laughed, shaking your head. “Come on, let’s finish this tour before I keel over. I’m exhausted.”
The two of you traded light conversation back and forth as he led you up corridors and companionways until that banter devolved steadily into cautious but very much overt flirting, and when he left you at the door to what would be your quarters for the short hop to the Republic Bastion, you said, “If I weren’t so tired that I might pass out before the fun even gets started, I’d invite you in.”
“Another time,” he said with a sympathetic bow of his head. “My quarters are up the corridor, should you need me. I’m off duty for a while now.”
“Nice. And thanks for showing me round.”
Kerritt gave another nod, and then he left.
You watched him go down the corridor to another door, his legs rippling in a sinuous sequence to take him forward, and you remembered how it felt to be carried along in his arms and shivered. Your body was running on fumes, but your brain still liked the memory of that strange, chitinous creature holding you in his arms.
You barely had the energy to shower in the cramped en suite, but once you’d changed into something more comfortable and less singed and gritty than your current outfit, you fell onto the bed and slept for sixteen hours straight.
When you woke and dressed, and staggered out into the corridor, your first port of call was the refectory to silence your growling stomach, but everything was closed since it wasn’t the ship’s mealtime. A diminutive creature with four arms and scaled, purple skin looked up from one of the tables in the empty dining area though and chirped something that sounded like an exclamation.
“Wait, human! Kerritt told me about you!” They had a head like a snake and thick spines all down their back, and although they wore clothing over their top half, their lower half was a thick, sinuous tail that uncoiled as they pushed back from the table and made their way over to you. “You want some food? I’ve never cooked for a human before. There aren’t any on this ship, and I joined the Mantis straight from the academy. I had to look up recipes for you in the species guide! I’m not sure what you’d like, but I made six earth dishes for you to choose from. They’re keeping warm now. I didn’t know when you’d be by.”
Their enthusiasm was almost overwhelming after a sleep that was essentially a fully-blown hibernation, but you nodded and let them lead you into the kitchen where you chose something that vaguely resembled beef chilli, though the beans weren’t the usual ones. They were turquoise blue, but they tasted ok.
You were about halfway through an enormous bowl of it when Kerritt entered the dining hall looking tense. That was, he looked tense until he saw you, at which point he sighed and scuttled over in that smooth way you found so attractive, his body moving like a ribbon between the tables.
“You’re awake,” he said when he reached you. “Are you alright? I had to ask the ship’s computer if there was still life detected in your quarters.”
You laughed long and loud. “Yeah, I do that sometimes. Sorry. Yeah, I’m good. Turns out my faithful little research ship, rest in pieces, wasn’t actually built for long-term habitation, because my god the mattress in my bunk here is like sleeping on a cloud, I swear.” You took another spoonful of ‘chilli’ and asked, “How’s things?”
“The ship is on course to dock at the Bastion in seventeen hours,” he said, apparently not sure quite what you’d meant. “Everyone is interested in meeting a human. They have been asking me many questions about you.”
“Oh? What did you tell them?”
“That I have only known you a few hours and cannot speak on your behalf.”
You smiled at him and shook your head. “Ah, you’re a good soul, you know that, Kerritt? I like you. Tell you what, when I’ve finished this… uh… ‘chilli’, you can introduce me to your friends.”
He nodded. “May I keep you company until then?”
“I’d love that,” you replied. “You can tell me how the Republic knew about the attack in the first place.”
While he was talking, a few people drifted in and approached when they saw that you were there, talking with Kerritt. It seemed like he was something of a hero among the crew himself, and the array of non-humans aboard varied from the reptilian cook with their purple skin to another invertebrate built more like a spider than a centipede, and several humanoid species, though the differences between you and them were marked. Long after you’d finished your chilli, you were all still gathered around your table, chatting and laughing together, and as people left to tend to their duties or head to their bunks for their downtime, you remarked to Kerritt what a tight-knit crew they had.
He nodded. “We’ve seen a lot of action together in the Vith Sector. It has a way of bonding a crew.”
“For sure,” you said, turning more serious. That sector was where the Porphaerians had been making their most aggressive moves in the last decade of their expansion. You sighed and stretched your neck a little.
“Are you alright?” he asked.
“Mm. Might walk around a bit for a while. Stretch my legs. Wanna join me?”
He bowed his head and scuttled back from where he’d been coiled up on himself while you’d been talking. His legs moved like clockwork parts, clicking on the shiny floor of the refectory, and you bit your lip and ached to touch.
His mandibles drifted a little further apart for a moment, and you got the impression he was scenting the air, but he took it no further and you tried hard to ignore how attractive you found him and his strange body while you walked the ship’s halls together.
Down in engineering, you visited one of the people you’d just met, and they showed you a few details of how the ship’s engine worked, until you started yawning again, and Kerritt took you back up to the corridor with the living quarters.
“You know, I’m tired, but I'm not actually all that sleepy,” you said. “I think it’s just the stress of what happened.”
“Perhaps… you would like to relax in my room? The permanent crew’s quarters are much bigger than the guest room you were assigned.”
“Sure,” you said with a smile. “Thank you.”
He continued down the corridor to his own room and you followed at his side.
“You know,” you said as he tapped a wristband to the reader in front of his door and it opened almost silently, “I never thanked you for saving my life. Those were some pretty badass moves back there. I’ve never had anyone defend me like that.”
His antennae flicked back in what you were now certain was a bashful expression, and he shrugged one chitinous shoulder. “My unit is trained to handle unusual situations.”
“I count as an unusual situation, do I?”
“I… what?”
“You handled me pretty well.”
If his entirely-black eyes could have rolled, you were certain they would have done, but he waved his hand in front of the door panel and it shut before anyone else on the ship could overhear you.
“You are very… forward, human,” he said, coming closer; close enough to touch.
You reached slowly for his ‘chest’ — or at least, for the section of his body that rose vertically, and which had much smaller segmented parts than the rest of him — and you held your hand out, palm facing him, just a few centimetres from his body. “May I?” you breathed.
He nodded. His own body had gone utterly still. All those mechanical legs holding him rigid as he tilted his head down to regard you, antennae pricked forwards.
Your hand connected with his cool body and a shudder ran through him from head to tail. A second later, lines of neon, bioluminescent green flashed along the length of his body and you gasped, taking your hand away in surprise before pressing it back down and watching the light pulse out a second time. “God, you’re beautiful. Can you feel that then?”
“Yes. Touch is our primary sense.”
You’d suspected as much, but you’d wanted to be sure. You brought your right hand up to meet your left and stood slowly, running your hands up his chest. All the while, his natural bioluminescence pulsed along his body, beginning at the point where you touched him and zipping down the segments of his body like lightning in a regular pattern. The chitin beneath your fingertips felt like glass: smooth and cool and oddly fragile. Your fingers traced the line of one of the segments that sat like armour on his shoulders and he gave another soft gasp and a shiver.
“May I touch you?” he asked.
“God yes,” you laughed, and he brought his clawed hands to your waist then up your torso and neck to rake the points of his fingertips across your scalp. For a second, your soul felt like it left your body and you tipped your head back and moaned.
“You enjoy touch too.”
“Unnfff.”
“Yes?”
You nodded.
“May I pick you up?”
A second and more enthusiastic “unnfff,” left your lips and he chuckled, lowering his mouth towards you for just an instant before he twitched backwards. “Mm?” you asked, only dimly aware that he was actually carrying you across the room towards his wide, comfortable bed now.
“I have to be careful. I have a lot of venom. It’s deadly to humans. Deadly to most species, actually.”
“Oh. I guess that means I can’t kiss you there then.”
“I have to inject my venom for it to be dangerous,” he said, “But I still have to be careful. It’s something of a reflex when I am… aroused.”
“I turn you on, huh?” you slurred cheekily.
“Yes.”
You loved how direct he was, and as he laid you down on the bed and moved his fingers to pause at the fastening of your clothes, you nodded before he could ask permission. He still did, of course, but it was more of a formality at that point. He raked his claws experimentally over your skin, so light it almost tickled, and you arched off the bed.
“I can smell you,” he said when he’d let your clothes fall to the floor. “May I taste you?”
You nodded, desperate to feel his mandibles against your skin. You were swollen and hard and sensitive already, and when he parted his huge mandibles wide to reveal his mouth and a black tongue, you bucked and whimpered and parted your legs for him.
The feel of his tongue exploring up the inside of your thighs was a torture of the best kind, and by the time he closed his mouth around your t-cock, you felt like you might come just from the touch alone. You had no idea what words came tumbling out of your mouth, but he let out a rumbling growl that made his whole body shake and pulse with light again, and you nearly yelled as he dug his claw-like hands into the muscle of your thighs.
You couldn’t think terribly clearly as he got back to work in earnest, practically worshipping your body with his mouth, his onyx mandibles raised just safely enough not to puncture your body but not far enough away that the wicked sharp tips didn’t prick your skin from time to time. His antennae glanced against your waist and shoulders from time to time and you had to restrain yourself from grabbing onto them. They were not horns, and you might even hurt him if you did. It was tantalising and you thrust your head back into the pillow behind you and let out a long, yowling cry of pleasure as you got closer and closer to coming.
Kerritt picked you up again, lifting you right off the bed with ease, and he brought the smooth segments of his lower body to touch yours as he lay down facing you on the bed beside you, encasing you in the cage of his many legs. The feeling of being held and almost immobilised was intoxicating, and you reached a hand up for his head and gripped around the smooth, curved contour of one mandible. He groaned again and you grabbed for the other with your free hand.
“How careful do I have to be with these?” you asked in a rough voice.
They parted and flexed just a little under your hold, but you could feel the immense strength behind them. You’d been right when you’d thought idly that they could punch through steel. One bite from those and you’d be dead.
“Not that careful,” he said, clearly amused behind his growing arousal.
He rubbed his glowing body slowly against you, catching your cock just perfectly with a smooth segment and you wrapped both legs around between two pairs of his legs to adjust the angle and the pressure. He was getting wet from the opening in his carapace, and the combined mess you were making was enough to set your head spinning.
“I’m gonna come,” you breathed as he picked up his pace, fucking against you more wildly with each of your pounding heartbeats. “Oh god, you’re going to make me come.”
“I’m close too,” he said, and you felt his mandibles start to shake and tremble in your grip. “I want to bite you,” he groaned. “I’m going to bite —”
The thick ring of his black mandibles slipped from your hold and in the blink of an eye they’d closed around your neck like a collar. You came with a blinding intensity, bucking against him while his hot tongue pressed against your throat.
A second later, his whole body locked up and he spilled over you in a rush of hot come that went up your stomach and down between your thighs while his whole body spasmed helplessly. His tail curled around you, locking you even more securely in place while his orgasm wracked his entire body, his legs tightening like the jaws of a bear trap against your naked body.
Eventually he stopped and went slack on the bed, and his mandibles opened slowly. All the chinks in his chitinous armour glowed a steady, quiescent green, and his antennae felt and tested at your neck. You nearly laughed at the tickling contrast between the powerful jaws and tender antennae.
“Did I hurt you? Tell me I didn’t hurt you,” he croaked.
“M’good,” you smiled and kissed one black, glossy mandible before he raised it completely out of reach.
He sighed with relief. “I’m sorry. My kind tend to lock in place during… you know. I thought perhaps with you it would be different, but… I’m sorry. It was a risk I shouldn’t have taken with you.”
“S’all good,” you said, your mind blissfully foggy in the wake of the best orgasm you’d had in months. “Come back here,” you said, petting the side of your neck to try and get him to hold you there again with his mandibles.
He did return his grip to your neck, and he slowly coiled his entire body around yours again while the two of you came down together.
“I think you’ve ruined sex with any other species for me after that,” you mumbled a while later.
Carefully, he withdrew his mandibles from you again and nuzzled the smooth top of his head against you, making a soft, crooning noise akin to purr.
“As I think you have for me,” he rumbled.
Without warning, the door to his quarters opened with its near silent sigh of metal on metal, and someone strode in, looking down at a screen in their hand. “Hey, Kerritt, I need you to sign this report for —”
Kerritt drew you even closer to him, masking you completely from whoever had intruded, and he hissed loudly at them over your head like a cobra.
“Shit! Sorry!” they barked, clearly as taken by surprise at the hissing as he had been by their arrival. “You never have company. I just… I’m so sorry! I’ll… uh… it can wait.”
You started laughing even before he set you back down on the bed, and by the time he had relaxed enough to draw back from his protective hold on you, your laugh had turned into a proper cackle.
“I don’t see what’s so funny,” he snapped.
“I’ve never had a partner hiss at someone to defend my dignity,” you said, wiping tears from your eyes and pushing up onto one elbow.
He regarded you flatly, and you reached carefully for the nearest antenna, running your fingertip along it before encircling it suggestively with thumb and fingers until he gave another huge, full-body shiver and let out a little moan, light pulsing again.
“It’s sweet, that’s all,” you smiled and then asked, “You think you’ve got another one in you, big guy?”
“Keep touching me like that and find out,” Kerritt muttered, rolling onto his back, at once docile and provocative, and letting all the tightly-coiled segments of his body unfurl for you like a fern. That light still darted along him whenever you touched him, flaring to life to telegraph just how turned on he was by you.
This time, you rode him to orgasm, rocking your hips back and forth over his slit until you both came a second time.
Watching a creature as powerful as he was come so completely undone beneath you was probably one of the best sights you’d ever seen.
__
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#centipede alien#insectoid alien#insectoid monster#transmasc reader#transmasc nonbinary reader#alien x human
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You're a pain in my neck
Tom Hiddleston x Reader
Masterlist
Notes: yo, I'm just starting my classics course and Google said Mr. Hiddleston himself also studied it (posh bastard, of course he did). Figured I'd make a little fic, but made it super cheesy and teenagery, bc why not? It's also my first time writing for Tom btw, not sure if I'll do it again.
(Also, sorry if the Shakespeare is wrong, I was doing it from memory b/c i couldn’t be bothered to fact check it.)
Warning: none? but I've left a little note at the end too.
You hadn’t been studying classics for very long, but the gods interested you greatly. You used to read myths as a child, Theseus and the Minotaur, or Orpheus and Eurydice, or even the trials of Hercules. You and your brother grew up on Greek tragedies and tales, so you had chosen to keep learning ten years on. The course covered both Roman and Greek mythology, politics, literature. Along the way however, your studies took you to other types of myth. Egyptian and Greek culture were closely related, but the European mythology around Celtic and Norse mythology was what really took your fancy.
You were sat in the library re-reading the myth of Athena and Arachne when you heard a man’s voice speak. “Is this seat taken?”
You glanced up. In front of you was a young man, blonde unruly curls atop his head, and a shy smile on his face. You smiled back, “Take it. I’m not waiting on anyone.”
He slid his rucksack off and sat across from you. “Thanks. I’m new here, so still finding my feet.”
“Me too,” you reply. “Just trying to get through the week.”
“What are you studying?” he asks.
“Classics and Sociology. You?”
“I’m doing classics too!” he says. “What’s your name?”
“Y/N”
“I’m Tom. Nice to meet you.”
You began to meet in the library regularly. Tom and you seemed to get on really well, helping each other with essays and chatting about life. The two of you began to meet often, catching coffee and studying together, going to the cinema, trips to museums and the like. Fortunately, or unfortunately, the two of you were only friends. When he came to you about advice about girls, asking people out, or just lovelife gossip, you could feel your heart constrict painfully. In all honesty, he was probably one of the most genuine people you had ever met, and you didn’t want to ask him out for fear of ruining whatever friendship the two of you shared. And, even if you did decide to take that leap of faith, there was no way to be sure that he would feel the same. He certainly hadn’t given you any indication of liking you, he had been friendly, and on occasion flirty, but nothing ever came of it. It was like everything you wanted was dangling right in front of you, but you just couldn’t reach to grab it for fear of falling.
Tom, little did you know, was in much the same predicament. His mates had actually nicknamed you “Mrs H” because of the puppy eyes he had whenever he saw you. He admired you; the way you spoke so eloquently, your intelligence, your beauty. The way you could stand your ground confidently, backing yourself no matter what. He often found that when you and he were debating ancient politics or learning Latin phrases, he would find himself zoning out, too busy daydreaming about an imaginary future between you and him.
It was just before the summer half term that Tom and you decided to take a picnic one Saturday, so that the two of you could power through some essays and then chill and enjoy the scenery. And so, the two of you trundled up to Richmond Park, deciding that that would be the best location, sat near King Henry’s mound*, looking out onto the London skyline. Once you’d finished all your essays and eaten enough quiche and salad, you both lay, looking out onto the beautiful scene. You had lay so that your head was resting on his thigh, with his using his pullover as a pillow. He had been asking you to test him on his lines for Macbeth that he was supposed to be learning.
“… life is but a walking shadow,
A poor player that struts and frets about the stage,
And then is heard no more. It is a tale told
By and idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.”
He waited.
“Signifying nothing…”
…
“Y/N, it’s your line.”
You jolted at the sound of your name. “Huh? Oh sorry, I must’ve drifted of.”
“You asleep?” he chuckled.
“No, you're just really comfy. I wouldn’t mind sleeping with you.”
He froze, smiling. “What?”
“I said I wouldn’t mind sleeping on you.”
“No you didn’t,” he said teasingly.
“Yes I did.”
“You said you wouldn’t mind sleeping with me.” It was your turn to freeze. “Oh. I’m sorry, I must’ve been in dreamland.”
“Are you sure?” he joked. “Might be your subconscious trying to tell you something.”
“Doesn’t matter anyways.” you said, “You’re way out of my league.”
He frowned at you, looking slightly confused. “What makes you think that?”
“Well, you're so handsome, and your tall and pretty and have cheekbones that could cut diamonds and you’ve got all that muscle that I know you hide because I’ve seen you play rugby, and you’re-”
“A lanky beanpole, I know,” he interrupts. “My love, you’ve got it wrong. You’re out of my league.”
You snort out a laugh. “You’re a bad liar, Thomas William Hiddleston.”
“Well, it doesn’t matter, because you’d rather sleep on me than with me.”
“Of course I wouldn’t.” You said before your brain caught up with what you were saying.
He looks at you, staring so intently you feel mortified. Fuck. He could feel his heart going twenty to the dozen, his brain running at the speed of sound. Did you mean it? Could you really be his? After all this wasted time pining over you, trying desperately not to fall for you? You –feeling suitably mortified- turn your head so fast to turn away from him that you pull a muscle in your neck. “OW, fuck.”
He scoots closer to you and looks to see what's wrong. “Are you alright?”
“I’ve pulled my neck. I'm fine.” you mutter back, trying to stay still so you don’t irritate it.
“Let me see,” he says, gently prying your fingers away from your neck, so he can gently press his palm to it. “Do you need heat on it? Did you want me to get you anything?”
“It’ll be fine. It'll just be tense for a little while,” you say.
He is right up against you now, gently rubbing the sore area of your neck trying to get the muscles to relax. Slowly, ever so slowly, you find yourself leaning back into his touch, letting him rub the pain away and relaxing a little more.
“Can you move your neck at all darling?”
You try, but all you do is wince. “Nope.”
“Not at all?”
“No.”
“Then I think now is probably a good time to ask; what did you mean of course you want to sleep with me?”
You can feel yourself turning red. “Tom, I… well, even I have to admit your very handsome, and, I dunno, I guess… I really like you. A lot. And I just thought, if I said anything, then I’d lose you as a friend, and I didn’t want to risk it… but now, I mean, if you don’t want, y’know, we can just pretend I never said anything, it doesn’t have to-”
“Pretend you never said anything?” he repeats. “Pretend you never said anything? Not a chance darling, not when I have been dreaming of you saying that to me. I’m just glad you beat me to it.”
“I beg your pardon?”
“I… I like you too,” he says.
“Oh.”
There's a bit of a silence. You wait a sec to digest what he’s just said. “Tom.”
“Yes?”
“As much as I’d love to kiss you right now, my neck is really fucking sore.”
He just laughs, and presses a kiss to your cheek. “C’mon. I’ll get you a hot water bottle when we get home, then maybe your neck will fix itself.” He helps you to your feet. “And then darling, I can kiss you all I want. Deal?”
“Deal.”
notes
*I feel the need to clarify, King Henry’s mound is actually the name of a hill in Richmond Park, and unfortunately, is not an old sex joke (like most things in history). There’s an old piece of legislation from the 1500s that states that you must always be able to see a certain part of London from that particular hill, because Henry wasn’t there when Anne Bolyn was beheaded, so told then to send up a smoke signal when she was dead. He saw it on that hill, hence the name “King Henry’s mound”. It's still illegal to build a skyscraper blocking it. Anyways, fun facts, go back to your fanfics now.
#tom hiddleston#tom hiddelston x reader#tom hiddelston imagine#thomas william hiddleston#tom hiddleston x reader#tom hiddleston fanfiction#tom hiddleston x you#dammit hiddleston#loki fic
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Bengiyo's Queer Cinema Syllabus
For those of you who don’t know, I decided to run the gauntlet of @bengiyo’s queer cinema syllabus, which is comprised of 9 units. I have completed four of the units (here is my queer cinema syllabus round up post with all the films I’ve watched and written about so far). It is time for me to make my way through Unit 5- Lesbians, which includes the following films: The Incredibly True Adventure of Two Girls in Love (1995), Bound (1996), Water Lilies (2007), Saving Face (2004), D.E.B.S. (2004), Set It Off (1996), The Handmaiden (2016), Carol (2015), Imagine Me and You (2005), Two of Us (2019), Rafiki (2018), and The Color Purple (1985).
Today I will be talking about
The Incredibly True Adventure of Two Girls in Love (1995) dir. Maria Maggenti
[Runtime: 1:34 , Watched on: Netflix, Language: English]
Summary: Randy cuts class to run her aunt’s gas station. Evie’s the popular girl at school. When the two meet, they discover love, trouble- and themselves.
Cast: - Laurel Holloman as Randy Dean - Nicole Ari Parker as Evie Roy
__
Well, the Lesbians unit is already off to a great start with this film. Watching this movie was oh so very much fun and I am very happy that we were getting movies with this many sapphics in it, it’s a rare treat, at least on my end.
It was a very interesting piece of media to start with after Heartbreak Alley because nothing too terrible happens in the movie itself, but the film is not a bubble type of film where homophobia and the consequences of being queer don’t exist. Randy and her family were especially impacted by it, we are just tuning in to a time in their life where they’ve come out the other end of the truly terrible life moments.
So when Evie shows up, wealthy, sheltered (at least from the consequences of being queer), and initially unaware of her own sexuality we get to see all the ways in which Evie can be brave because she doesn’t know any better and Randy can be brave because she does know what can happen and tries anyway. It’s taking me back through the Race, Class, and Disability unit a little bit in the way the movie shows all the freedoms and restraints that come with Evie and Randy’s respective positionalities in the world.
Evie isn’t scared of holding Randy’s hand at the diner because she doesn’t believe that someone would beat them up for it. Randy has just gotten over the initial fear of holding hands with a girl she likes in public when the waitress comes over and interrupts the moment and Evie has to be the one to make the second attempt at holding hands in public at the diner.
I love the little nods towards that line, the way that Randy wears her Act Up shirts to school and people are able to clock her, but she still tells Evie that she was seeing a married woman, and Randy sees that as coming out to someone (which it is) and Randy tells her aunts that she came out to someone at school and is congratulated for it because you never really stop coming out and it can be a big deal or a small one every single time.
Randy’s only friend is Frank, another queer kid at school, and Evie’s got three friends we see her with most of the time who are all straight women generally uncomfortable with Randy as a person and especially grossed out by the thought of Evie and Randy hanging out, much less dating/being in love with each other. I was definitely worried initially when Evie’s friends started talking about Randy that she would get quiet, or relent, or play along with her friend group. I have to say that was probably one of my most favorite parts of the film, that Evie didn’t do that. Evie spoke up against her friends, she defended Randy time and time again, and maybe it’s the sheltered aspects of her life that allow her to just come right out and tell her friends, after they were already being so homophobic, that she was in love with Randy and they could simply stop being friends with her if they had a problem with that.
And in fact, Evie’s friends do walk away, and Evie is left alone in a diner because she told her friends she loved a woman. And she’s allowed to be upset about that, and Randy is also allowed to be like “yeah, I could have told you that” about it because, again, she knows all that there is to lose by being out and clockable.
You can see it in the way she handles conflict, that Ari presses her against the wall, and grabs her by the scruff of her shirt, and threatens to kill her for seeing his wife, and while it is hilarious that Regina is just standing there unfazed, hitting him with a fly swatter until he lets go, Randy just standing there with her neck red from being assaulted, holds popsicles to her neck and immediately lies to Evie about what she just experienced. In fact, if I recall correctly, Randy never once breathes a word of that encounter to Evie, even though they are a couple, and Evie cares about Randy. But why would you tell the freshly minted queer you were preoccupied with being threatened for your entanglement with another man’s wife?
There were lots of little things that I loved about this movie, especially as they related to the home. That Evie is there in a big house, with just her mother, refusing to talk about her feelings around her father in a relatively silent house cutting straight to the cramped, overcrowded kitchen with four lesbians wriggling around each other trying to get dinner on the table. I love the camera work around Lena when the camera pans slowly down her entire body, when the only thing in frame is essentially just Lena’s tits bouncing around as she does boxing moves. And my absolute favorite, the tops of heads we see passing back and forth and back and forth while Randy and Evie stand perfectly still, holding hands, and talking to Randy’s family the first time that Evie meets them.
gif by @roseillith
I love that they let Randy’s aunts argue about a very present concern (their differing feelings about having Lena in their house) and that that argument is not the be-all-end-all of their relationship. I love that Randy’s biggest issue is not that she is queer, but that she likely will not be able to graduate highschool. I love that Evie’s biggest issue is also not that she is queer, she does not struggle at all with her queer awakening, and that the biggest problem her mother seems to be having is that she left the house a mess when unsupervised for a few days. Which is not to say that her mother will not struggle with the sexuality aspect of it, but that I don’t get a sense that Evie will be kicked out of the house or need to flee it the way that Randy absolutely did when she came to live with her aunt.
Their issues feel very high school, and their romance, and all the drama around it feels very high school, and I think the movie did a good job conveying the messy, shitty, dramatic bullshit we put our families through as teenagers.
Favorite Moment
My absolute favorite moment, hands down, by miles in the film is the fight between Randy’s aunts. And this may end up resulting in essentially two favorite quotes being put down in this post, but I just have to talk about the conversation that Rebecca and Vicky have over an ex-girlfriend that has been staying with them after breaking up with her boyfriend.
I love that this fight has a number of layers to it: one, that Lena is an ex-girlfriend of one part of the lesbian couple and that can definitely wear down some patience from the current partner; two, that they are raising a child that isn’t their own and are adding an additional stressor on top; three, that they do not have the money to really swing another long-term guest; and four, the difference in their life history as queer people is majorly informing the perception of how this is going.
We don’t have only messy lesbians, we have a long-term, established relationship between two people who are doing the thing where they make continuous and active choices to stay together and are talking about the things that are causing tension in their household to try to reach some level of compromise. They are allowed to fight without me having to worry that they are going to try to throw some break up between the adults in Randy’s life into the mix.
This film came out before gay marriage was legal in the United States, but I love that we can understand the depth of the commitment Rebecca and Vicky made to one another, in whatever version of a partnership they have created for themselves with one of the most incredible lines of the film:
Rebecca: “I made a vow that my house would always be open to the people I love. You and I both took that vow when we moved in together. I needed it when I was young. Randy needed it when she moved in with us. Even you needed that once.” Vicky: “No I didn’t.” Rebecca: “No, I guess you didn’t.”
I love the quote because it does speak to the queer experience, my housemate and I are both queer, and we have tried our hardest to make sure that our other queer friends know that our door is open if they need it. We know Randy has been disowned by her mother, we know her aunt must have been raised in some level of similar environment, and it is understandable from Rebecca’s point of view that she and Vicky remain a support and safe haven for wayward queers forever. And how that viewpoint builds on Vicky’s problems with Lena staying with them instead of Lena going home to her mother to get over the break-up. Because if Vicky never had the experiences that Rebecca and Randy had of having nowhere else to go, then I can totally see how it might be harder for her to understand why Lena is staying with them and has been staying for so long.
And I like that Lena is still there at the end of the movie, which indicates to me that Rebecca won that argument and Vicky is at least continuing to tolerate the newest addition to their little queer family.
Favorite Quote
“I don’t want to shock you or anything but I really wanna hold your hand right now. I’ve wanted to hold your hand all day.” // “I’ve held hands with a girl before.” // “Girls like me?” // “I guess not. But what could happen?” // “We’d get the shit beat out of us, that’s all.” // “Just for holding hands? I don’t believe that.” // “God Evie, you are so sheltered.” // “Unshelter me.”
I like that Evie can be brave in this moment expressly because she does not understand what she is putting on the line by being queer in public. But she is turning 18 soon, and she is heading off to college, and she cannot be protected forever, especially not if she wants to be herself, and if she understands her queerness and wants that to be an active part of her life that she doesn’t have to hide, she will learn eventually. And she does, she tells her friends if they have a problem with her being in love with Randy that they can leave. And they do. And if you ask me there is a part of Evie that is saying that only because she doesn’t think they actually will, and that she is surprised when they actually do get up and go. But she pays the price and she is sad about it, but not remorseful. Never remorseful about being open with the people that she cares about and losing them as a result.
Score
8/10. I was not a huge fan of the acting in a lot of this, and the script was not the strongest. But there were some really great moments that felt so true to form and I am endlessly glad that this film exists.
#bengiyo queer cinema syllabus#queer cinema syllabus#the incredibly true adventure of two girls in love#the incredibly true adventure of two girls in love (1995)#unit 5: lesbians
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TWST OC Showcase: Timofey 'Spike' Orlov
Voice Claim: Patrick Seitz (in his performance of Franky from One Piece)
Beastman - Kangaroo Right-handed Shaftlands 210cm / 6'10 - #990909 / 153, 9, 9 November 12th - Scorpio - 19-20 y.o. 3d year - Junior - Class C, no. 18 Basketball Club Best Subject: P.E. Hobbies: Watching Pro-Wrestling Pet peeves: Betrayal Favorite food: Poppyseed muffins Least favorite food: Just meat Talent: Fighting Floyd-given name: Sharky Rook-given name: Monsieur de Pointe Cater-given name: Spikey Signature Spell: Wild Stab Can make spikes shoot up from the ground or from his hands. Depending on the amount of magic he pours into it those spikes could become MASSIVE.
Link to all my OC Showcases here!
Some quotes:
"Always known I got a scary mug— didn't realize just how scary, 'pparently… 'M real sorry 'bout before…" He stands awkwardly scratching the back of his neck.
"You're the easily bribed kind, huh. Didn't figure you the type at first." — "N-nothing! I—" His face flushes a little "I think 's cute."
"Course! I'd never ditch my comrade-in-arms— uh, no, best bud— ok really gotta work on a word for it— a-anyway! I'd never just ditch you like that. You're important to me, yeah? Where you go, I go, 'n all that."
His mother had him quite young, and his father was never in the picture. When Spike was very little, just around one year old, his mother left Spike to be raised by her mother, his grandmother. She said it was because she was too young to be a mother. She never came back after that. His grandmother, an incredibly forgiving and understanding soul, just hoped that wherever she is now, she's doing well, and that she's lived a good life. And so Spike was raised by his grandma, or 'Gran' as he called her, in a pretty bad part of a big Shaftlands city, and they didn't have much money. But they weren't entirely impoverished— they could afford to put food on the table basically every day, though having to cut corners to save water and electricity. Though it still wasn't at all uncommon for their electricity or water to be turned off once every month or so. Especially since Spike had a very big appetite, and both ate and grew a lot. His grandmother thought it was more important he grow up healthy than save money on electricity. So while they did sometimes have to choose between light or food for the night, it could have been a lot worse.
Though they were poor, his grandmother could afford to send him to a nearby public school. When he got there, even at age 6, he was almost twice the size of all his peers. And he wasn't used to playing with other kids— when they saw him they thought he looked scary, and would hide, or run to a teacher. And he was a lot stronger than them, too. When he tried to pat someone on the shoulder, he might accidentally use too much force, and the kid would run to the teacher saying he hit them. He didn't mean to! He just wanted to ask them to play with him.
Spike spent a lot of time as a kid watching TV. There wasn't much else to do where he grew up. Especially not since he and his Gran were basically broke. And tickets to the cinema, or going bowling, or visiting an amusement park, all cost money. But there was almost always something to watch on TV. But in particular, from a pretty early age he became fascinated by two genres: romcoms, and wrestling. At first, he didn't like wrestling very much because he thought it was sad everyone seemed so mad at each other all the time. But when his Gran told him they were just pretending to be mad, were just acting, it made him feel a lot better. So after that, even as a young joey, he thought the wrestling moves he saw on the screen looked so cool! And the stories…to him, it felt like his own superhero show. And romcoms...just like he grew up idealizing the guys he saw doing wrestling, he grew up wanting to be like the male leads in the romance movies. Love looked so nice, and warm, and happy, and from a pretty early age he became a bit of a hopeless romantic.
All he knew about his mother was what his Gran had told him, that she had moved somewhere, and that she didn't know where, but hoped that she was happy. His Gran never seemed all that sad she wasn't there, so it was never a big deal to him. He never cared all that much that he never had a mom. His Gran kinda filled that role for him anyway. But he was sometimes sad that he didn't have a dad. Because the boys he saw on TV who had dads seemed to have so much fun with them. His Gran was really really nice and he loved her a lot, but the dads he saw on the screen were different; they tried to teach their sons things, like being strong, or how to stand up to people when they're mean to you, or stuff like that. Moms could do that too, of course… But a mom wouldn't be a boy like he was. So there were some things that just wouldn't be the same. So he really wanted a dad. In particular a dad because… He'd seen pictures of his mom, and she didn't look a lot like him. She was a red kangaroo, yes, and shared some features with him, but she wasn't as abnormally tall as him. Or as scary-looking. So he often wondered if maybe his dad looked more like him. If people were scared of him, too. Spike may not always have been able to catch on it was him and his appearance specifically people were scared of in individual cases of them seeming uncomfortable around him…but it did usually click eventually. He looked at pictures of other kids in books or on TV, and then at his own reflection in the mirror, trying to find which parts of him it was that made people scared, and unwilling to be his friend… He hoped that, if he did have a dad, and he could meet him, he could help him. Or at least, he'd have someone else like him. He hoped his dad was like one of the wrestlers he watched. One of the good ones. The nice ones, who fought bad wrestlers. They were big and strong, maybe even a little bit scary-looking, but people all cheered for them, and liked them.
He didn't do well in school, even though he tried his best. He learned to read and write, but thinking deeply about subjects, or counting really high numbers, or putting his thoughts into words just never came naturally to him. And seeing all his classmates get, at the very least decent grades, he felt even more discouraged. If he wasn't learning anything even though he tried, and all the other kids were scared of him, and the teacher always assumed he was aggressive and dangerous just because he was a Red Kangaroo beastman, then he figured he wasn't welcome there. Didn't belong there. So he started skipping. And doing so, he encountered other kids who were also skipping school. With them, he didn't feel as out-of-place anymore. He was just tall with them. Not scary, not dangerous. Just a really tall kid; which they thought was pretty cool actually. So this group of kids, basically running loose with no adult supervision, gradually started doing more and more dangerous stuff, which, as they grew older, started sometimes crossing the line into being illegal. It was mostly just small things at first. Like stealing candy from the store none of them could afford, so they could share it with each other, or painting with spray cans, or roughhousing that got a bit out of hand and ended up with someone losing a tooth. But these things also lead to them slowly growing a distrust for the police, and adults in positions of authority in general, just because they knew that if the adults knew the kinda stuff they did for fun together, they'd all be in trouble. And none of them wanted that; the little gang they'd formed was important to all of them, after all. So that sense of loyalty fostered among each other slowly became a strict code. And as they all grew older still, their activities became more and more dangerous. Now they didn't just steal candy, but larger things, sometimes even TVs, which they promptly found middle-man buyers for, who could pass them onto more 'reputable' sellers, to be sold back to the public. Some of them started stealing ATMs. When people got upset at each other, it couldn't always just be forgiven the next day anymore. Now, if it was bad enough, people beat each other up. And these kids, raised by TV or violent or uncaring guardians, had no one to tell them off for it. So violence, running from the cops, and breaking the law just became common-place eventually. Especially when they started coming into conflicts with other gangs.
Spike's straight-forward, impulsive 'punch first, ask questions later' personality lead to him doing quite well in this world, developing a reputation as an almost scarily good fighter, even though he'd never trained, and was the youngest of the group. That's how he got the name 'Spike'. He ended up learning most of the things he knows that way, through trial and error. He ended up getting real attached to one particular member of that gang, who became like a brother to him. He would always defend Spike if someone else tried to pick on him for not being super smart, or would get intimidated by Spike and try to pick a fight to prove how much tougher than him they were. That older guy, Oscar, ended up becoming the leader of their little gang; he was the smartest, after all, the one who made all the plans, not to mention quite charismatic. The kind of person people rallied behind. Spike looked up to him a lot. Spike ended up getting some money from their activities, which he gave to his gran. When she asked where he'd gotten the money, he told her that he'd dropped out of school, but he'd gotten a job! She was understanding about his dropping out, saying that the straight-forward path isn't for everyone; there's nothing wrong with taking a roundabout path. What was important was that it was what he himself decided on.
Growing up in the gang had started making him more crass, using 'foul' language and things like that. But the gang was also a comfortable place for him. Way fewer people were scared of him, and the few people who were at least tried to stand up and do something about it, even if that was to try to fight him. He could be unabashedly himself— at least for the most part. He did hide the fact that he really liked baking and loved cute things from most of the group except Oscar; he was worried that would have the others making fun of him for it. But the gang also taught him violence. So while it's not exactly something he finds 'fun', he can absolutely fuck someone up if he needs to. And so he did for the gang on multiple occasions, getting rid of rival gangs' members by fighting them, usually breaking a few bones and taking them out of the game for quite a while until they were healed. They were by no means the biggest gang around, despite what they'd thought as younger kids. They were part of a criminal ecosystem now. And some of the others in the gang started thinking Oscar wasn't bold enough. His strategies for things they'd steal were more methodical; carefully planned out so as not to draw too much suspicion to them, so no one would get caught. But they didn't yield for the kind of money some other people got for jobs. And greed and desperation can drive people to do bad things. One of the people in the gang ended up selling them all out to a bigger, more powerful rival gang nearby, who jumped them all one day. People's bones were broken, he- he thought he saw someone get their neck snapped. People passed out from the beatings they got from the members of the other gang that outnumbered them. He was so busy fighting off people who tried to get at him that he could barely see what was happening around them. Until he heard gunshots. That day Spike realized just what small fry they really were compared to other gangs in the area. Spike was the only survivor. He tried to get Oscar to a hospital, but because they were a violent gang, he told Spike not to bother, since they probably wouldn't receive help anyway. And it's not like they could afford it. So it ended with him being forced to see his best friend and mentor, someone who was at once an older brother and closest thing he'd had to a paternal figure, die on the ground. He was only 15 and half. And he'd just watched his best friend die. Of course he knew the stuff they did was dangerous— he or one of the others had ended up wounded or had gotten into a foot-chase with the authorities more times than he could recall. But everyone had always been ok in the end. The worst that would happen was someone wound up in jail. No one... No one had ever died. Sure, he'd heard about it happening with other gangs, but this...
The first thing he felt was a confusing mix of sorrow and pure rage. His friends, who he'd grown up with, who'd had his back for so many years, who made him the person he was, who'd always treated him like he was just any other guy...were dead. They'd been killed. They even got Oscar. The person Spike had always looked up to. Who Spike thought seemed invincible. Because no matter what trouble they got into, he was always the one who got them out of it. Oscar didn't deserve it— he was amazing, the smartest person Spike had ever met, and he cared a lot for his friends even if it didn't always seem like it at a glance. Once, he'd asked Spike what he was doing there: Spike had a home, and his grandma. Not everyone in the gang was that lucky. But Spike said the gang was as much family to him as his gran was. "I know I ain't good for much besides punchin' folks. Couldn't do school. But I can do this. 'F it helps my gran, 'm gonna keep at it." And after hearing that, Oscar just nodded, and didn't bring it up again. Spike knew that he himself didn't have a lot of hope at a better life than what he'd already gotten himself into. Oscar was meant for so much more than this! he was smart! Capable! Cared a lot! He was meant to go places! Better places! More legit places. Get a real job, a real good one, and get out of this violent life. Spike had never been so angry before in his entire life. The other gang, who killed or recruited all his old friends, went to him to try to recruit him to join them. He was already in too deep in the criminal world to stop now, and he needed to provide for his Gran somehow— her having gotten too old to work— so he swallowed his pride and his rage and agreed. He was doing it for his Gran now, and that gave him strength. But still, he couldn't see the old friend who'd betrayed him and the rest of the gang's face without wanting to literally snarl like a rabid animal.
But then his gran died. She'd had quite a bad cough for a while, and pausing to cough had caused her to slip and fall down the stairs. When he found her after coming home, it all felt like some big, sick joke. With that, the last thing keeping him and his emotions in check was gone. He went on a rampage, showing up at the gang's HQ and beating every single member he could find to death, saving his 'old friend' for last— after a brutal beat-down he squeezed his head so hard his skull cracked. He didn't realize until then just how strong he really was. Police who showed up to the scene later would find the entire place covered top to bottom in giant, razor-sharp spikes. It seemed that was how he discovered his Signature Spell: 'Wild Stab'. That was also how he realized he was a mage in the first place; he was too poor to ever have gone anywhere close to any kind of educational source about magic, and any previous occurrences he'd just chalked up as being something else. And those spikes were what had actually done most of the heavy lifting during said rampage. Though he wouldn't know just how much damage he'd caused. All he knew was he got so mad he couldn't think or see anything, and he punched a lot of people, and felt something weird and kindly tingly everywhere. He himself was grievously injured. He'd gotten a bad beating from the people he fought, and was black and blue everywhere, and bleeding. At some point he'd also managed to impale himself in the arm on one of his own spikes. He didn't realize it until after he'd staggered away from the scene and ending up falling into a gutter. He was still alive, but on the brink of death. He thought he was going to die. He was only 16 at the time. But then he heard someone begin to approach him. Spike told whoever it was to: "Screw off and let me die in peace". He was just so tired. He wanted to take a nap... The man said no. He gave Spike an offer: If Spike agreed to work for him, he'd get him patched up, and then get him the funds to retire early. Not really having anything else to do, Spike just answered: "Maybe. Depends on the job."
The next thing he remembers is waking up in the hospital three months later. And when he woke up, he'd gotten a letter in the mail. From a place called 'Night Raven College'. Then they found Spike's biological father, who he moved in with. His father was neither happy nor upset to meet him, but did seem annoyed that Spike would be moving in with him. They quickly came to an agreement that they stay out of each others' space. They were just living together; and only until Spike turned 18. Spike had wondered about what his dad might be like often as a joey, and wondered if he was just as big and scary-looking as Spike. Little Spike always took some comfort in thinking maybe he was, and that maybe he could meet him one day. Turns out he wasn't. He was tall, but definitely not as tall as Spike, and while a little bit rugged, he wasn't exactly scary to look at. He couldn't help but feel disappointed... He'd always hoped his dad would be just like him, and that with him, Spike could finally no longer feel so out-of-place. But now even in what was supposed to be his 'home', he felt like an unwanted intruder. So he just felt more out-of-place than ever. He wasn't exactly upset by his dad not wanting to be his dad. He was just a person living his life, who maybe didn't even know Spike existed at all before this. But... That comforting idea he'd idealized of a dad who was just like him, and was proud of Spike being just like him...someone Spike could go to for guidance, who'd want to help, and never be too busy to come running when Spike really needed help...seemed to just kinda go up in smoke. And for the first time he realized how vulnerable he truly was. He really had no safety net. No one to catch him. His Gran had always tried her best, but she had to work so often, and then became too weak to do a lot but just simple stuff around the house. But all that time, he hadn't really noticed the lack of it. Maybe because he'd also distantly had this thought that he had a dad out there somewhere, who loved him, who'd care for him when he finally met him, and welcome him with a big hug. He went walking around the street that night, because it felt familiar... Eventually he stopped walking next to the bank of the river passing through the city, and just sat down on the ground, and cried, hugging his knees. He missed Oscar. He missed his Gran. He missed all his other friends. He hadn't even begun to fully process they were all gone yet. And he had no one who could help him do that. He was left there, alone. Just a 16-year-old who grew up too fast, with no one to guide him, show him how to feel, how to think.
Miscellaneous facts:
He goes to anger-management classes now. He doesn't get angry often, and if he does it's always for a very clear reason. But when he does, he sometimes goes overboard and ends up causing an absolute mess. His Signature Spell scares him, honestly. He doesn't like that it's so violent, since it's a part of himself he isn't proud of.
He has lanky yet weirdly strong arms.
He's still got the same attitude as he did when he was a street punk, he's incredibly tall, and he's always had a horrendous case of RBF, so most people are scared of him as soon as they meet him. He's not very forward thinking and is pretty bad at planning ahead and he knows it. He just focuses on the thing right in front of him and gets going with it. He's always done better as the lackey of smarter people.
Just how much he can mess both things and people up with his strength when he tries can make him honestly terrifying, especially when he gets genuinely upset. But he's still got a good heart. And when he's comfortable and not on edge, he's actually a giant softie who cries when the dog dies in a movie and gets shy and embarrassed really easily if you know what to say/do. And deep down, he's pretty insecure about a lot of things. His appearance and way of speaking just scares people into being really wary of him. That he looks scary, and that he could really harm someone if he wanted to, are his two biggest insecurities.
He has more manners than you'd expect of a street punk, since his grandmother was very insistent on teaching him, and he does try to follow her advice when he needs to. In practice, this usually means he only swears around his friends, and gives very polite, even somewhat stiff first greetings. And he's super extra polite when he's visiting someone else's house. If they're an adult he always calls them 'sir/ma'am/mx'. He'll be pretty stiff and awkward the whole time, and won't know what he can and cannot stand on, and if he should take his shoes of— And he always tries to bring a gift, even if it's just something small like chocolates or homemade sweets.
He's pretty good at baking, actually! And pretty ok at cooking too. He was actually the go-to cook in the gang when they couldn't go out to some fast food place. He really likes cooking for people, and sharing meals with his friends. The kinda guy who will say, no irony to be found, that 'food always tastes better when you share it with others'.
He doesn't normally have freckles! He has them at NRC because he's so pale, Savannaclaw is so bright and sunny, and he does not put on sunscreen that often.
The city he grew up in was the kind of city that seemed to be constantly either cloudy or rainy, but also got really cold and snowy in the winter.
At NRC
For a while, he didn't really know what to do about the letter he got. He'd never been good at school, after all. And he wasn't good at thinking about the future; what good could going to school even do, if he even managed to finish it at all? But somewhere in the back of his head, he knew Oscar would probably tell him to go for it.
And it's not like he really knew what else to do.
There was that weird guy who'd saved him, and said something about Spike working for him... But he really didn't wanna just stick around waiting for who-knows-what to happen.
So he decided to go.
At the Entrance Ceremony, he was shocked when he heard the mirror call for a 'Timofey Orlov'. His gran was the only one who ever called him Timofey after he dropped out of school. In his head 'Spike' had just become more like his real name than a nickname at some point. He doesn't dislike Timofey, but in a way it feels...somewhat intimate to hear. For the rest of the school-year he had to tell everyone he met; teachers, other people who remembered him from the entrance ceremony (which was a lot, given just how tall he was, and how his height combined with his gravely voice made people ask if he was even a teenager) that he preferred going by 'Spike'.
And then, after feeling very out-of-place in his custom-tailored Ceremonial Robes, having been sorted into Savannaclaw, he found himself standing next to another freshman; some guy with lion ears. And they ended up rooming together. Spike tried to be polite and introduce himself, but all he was met with was the other guy turning his back to him to take a nap.
But he eventually found out the guy's name was Leona. Leona Kingscholar, apparently.
At first it didn't click for him. Spike just said he thought it was cool, and wondered what it must be to like to have the same surname as a royal family, asking if people treated him like royalty because of it. Leona answered 'not really'.
"Huh." Spike said. "Well that blows. 'F you have a cool name, figure other folk'd treat you like you're cool too. Just ends up bein' confusin' then."
When he found out Leona— who'd ended up becoming 'Lona' because of Spike's habit of not paying too much mind to proper annunciation— was a year older than everyone else, and not due to being held back, but having chosen to attend a year later, Spike just looked at the cast still left on his arm and asked "Wait, I coulda done that?! I figured it was a 'now or never' kinda deal!"
Leona ended up becoming a really good friend of his, and Spike basically his first follower/lackey.
At one point, during their second year, the new Housewarden of Octavinelle had tried to recruit Spike to his own dorm. But all he got was a death glare and a 'piss off!' in return, with Spike making it very clear he was "Not jumpin' ship! Doesn't matter what ya try to throw at me!"
Oh, and when Leona eventually straight up told Spike that he was the Leona Kingscholar, as in, the prince, when they were doing homework (read= Spike trying to do his homework in Leona's general vicinity and asking him for help with questions he didn't understand) Spike just went 'Mhm.' . . . "...Wait really?!"
"So that's why you're so rich!" and then rubbed the back of his neck and asked "So uh...d'I gotta start callin' you 'your highness' or 'sir' or somethin' now and junk?" to which he was just met with a "Do whatever you want."
Spike just kinda went 'Oh. Ok.' Then proceeded to ask 'Lona' for help on another question.
(Spike's entire world was rocked when Leona started pointing out all the other people going to their school who were actually big-name celebrities or the kids of rich CEOs or something)
His literal second day, after classes were over, he was approached by Night Raven's entire Basketball team, who proceeded to all get down on the ground and literally BEG him to join their Club. "Uh… Not doin' any other stuff, so guess I could—" then who he thought was probably the leader grabbed his hand and shook it vigorously, thanking him profusely and promising he would not regret it!
He ended up becoming the MVP of the team. If they managed to get the ball to him, it was almost always a guaranteed point for them; most games he was playing in ended up turning into the other team trying their absolute best to work AROUND him, because everyone knew that as soon as he was on the opponent's side of the court and he had the ball, even if he was still pretty far away, he could jump and have a 70% chance of getting the ball in the hoop anyway.
And he became good friends with Floyd, Ace and Jamil, once they joined the Basketball club.
And through the Basketball club, he met Neige— specifically after an NRC vs. RSA basketball match hosted at Night Raven in Spike's second year at school. After saving Neige from some Night Raven students who were harassing him, it was love at first sight for Neige, and it didn't take Spike long to develop a crush.
And eventually, after hanging out more and getting closer, Neige taking every chance he got to visit NRC, they started dating.
Spike was incredibly nervous and sorta awkward at first— he'd had a few crushes growing up, but had never actually gotten even close to a romantic relationship. But the nerves started wearing off with time, leaving just a very happy Spike, hopelessly in love with his boyfriend.
Since he grew up basically without adult supervision, starting to skip school so early and with his gran often working, he was so used to just doing whatever he felt like that having teachers with authority over him came as a shock. He'd never really experienced being told off by adults before— adults who weren't police, at least.
It surprised him when one day he said something about 'when I was a Joey' and one of his teachers responded with 'you're still only 16'.
He sure didn't feel 16.
He started wondering if that was weird.
He started realizing he'd never really been treated like a kid before. Somewhat by his gran, but mostly when he was very little. By the time he was in school, he was much bigger than the other kids and his face also made him look older than he was, so they treated him more like a teenager than a child. And the same went for all the other adults he'd ever encountered.
Throughout all his time at NRC, he kept feeling like he 'stole' his friend's place somehow. Oscar was supposed to be the one going to some fancy magic school— not him. Oscar actually had the skills to make good use of an education— not to mention even get that education in the first place. Spike started skipping school when he was 9, and had dropped out completely by age 11.
Spike knows would never have made it in any of his classes without Leona's help.
And that night…the things he did… He tried his best not to think about it. He partially can't remember much anyway. He just knew he flew into a bloodthirsty rage, and only emerged from it when he was about to finish off the person who betrayed him and the others.
He feels strange, thinking about how easy it was.
That night he realized he had it in him to hurt others. He didn't exactly want to hurt others, but he could. ...Probably good people, too. He didn't feel bad about what he did. Not in the way he knew he was supposed to. He knew he'd be able to do it again.
But he did feel bad thinking that...maybe that was exactly what his teachers and classmates saw in him when he was a joey.
Were they right, then? Was this the only outcome for him?
That night…the reason he accepted the stranger's offer was probably because after what he'd done, he already felt like he was a monster. He'd accepted that he was, even.
But Neige… His hands were so soft. Clean.
He didn't know why he was allowed to hold Neige's hands in his own— his own, that had hurt so many people already, and would probably go on to hurt more, if the vibe he caught from his savior were right.
He hoped that, if he really was a monster…then at least he could be the monster that protected Neige. And Leona. And all his friends.
More sprites:
Tag list: @another-random-paradise @thehollowwriter @faefum @cactus13-rolloflammesimp @beneathsakurashade
@nyx-of-night @theolivetree123 @babyghoul138 @skibidibabygirl @screamintoad
@mishig
#🥊spike#spineige#neige x spike#moony's ocs#twst oc#twst ocs#twisted wonderland oc#twisted wonderland ocs#twst#twisted wonderland
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Sci ngl i assumed you were a cis gay dude back when i was obsessively reading your spiderpool stuff as a teenager. I’m a gay trans man and your comics always felt like a warm hug, truly my comfort doom scrolling — so it’s kinda nice to find out we’re more similar than id thought
bless you anon!! it's a pleasure having you, and i'm so, so glad my comics can be a cozy comfort for you!! kissing you so sweetly
you know, it's kind of funny, i've had an overwhelming response of people who've said they've just assumed i was male by the vibes i radiate and i'm not entirely sure what it means. i'm know you all mean it very reaffirmingly but it leaves me with a lot of questions. like, questions that i want to do further research into.
is there a masculine dialect? like how there are regional dialects? is that a thing? i kind of want to study this now. can you tell someone's gender by the way they talk like you can tell where they're from? that is so cool if it's true. how do you type like a man. what should i look for? i don't know if i've ever assumed someone's gender by the way they type. i just look at their bio and it usually says. and i kind of don't think about it when i type. i type like me. but – i think maybe i pick up the way that i talk from the media i consume (comic books) which is kind of overpoweringly male. overpoweringly populated by male characters, and written by men, y'know.
i think the way i type here on @sciderman is probably softer and more femme than the way i write on the ask-blog. on the blog when i'm answering things as Mod i kind of intentionally mimic the tone-of-voice that marvel editors use. that's an intentional choice. so - when you read what i write here it's closer to my real voice, but over on ask-spiderpool i'm putting on an act. i try to sound like a marvel editor. i call you all True Believers! it's all a persona. i think one of the things that's my strength in writing is falling into voices - i think i could be an excellent ghostwriter, if i needed to be. so very crafty at mimicry.
as a kid i always, always always would mimic the characters i liked from the movies we watched whenever i came out of the cinema. i remember doing that all the time. and it was always boys. (except frenchie from grease. she was my one female gender icon. god everyone hated me for that one. i loved doing the voice. wanted to be her so bad. wanted the pink hair. everything.)
you know,, even now The Very First thing anyone asks me when they meet me is where my accent is from, because nobody believes i'm native to london. it happened today (twice). the way i talk is a little weird. my response,, off the bat,, it's because i watched too many cartoons growing up. so,, i guess maybe i idolised too many masculine role models, and probably didn't have enough female role models. i liked the boy movies better than the girl ones. i spent more time with my dad than i did with my mom. my mom wasn't a good role model. dad says that's probably why i didn't want to be a woman. i didn't have a good role model. (sorry mom). (he's right). all kinds of variables here. i kind of want to do research into it. also i should talk to a therapist.
#sci speaks#i remember talking to someone about wade's gender feelings and how they're a result of trauma with his mother's death etc etc and.#they said it was bad of me to write that. like it's a cliché and he doesn't need trauma to feel that way. and i think that's true. but.#trauma does impact things like this.#it's just a sad truth. some quirky little bits of your identity probably do come out of some freudian thing. some childhood trauma.#some detail about your relationship with your parents.#shut UP freud stop being right about things. you suck!!!!
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